Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion HG Kids just not that in to accademic stuff

Hi,

I've been lurking a little bit lately and just wanted to say for a start, just what a relief it is to find this site.

I have 6.5yo daughter who is skipped and in 2nd grade. She's tested twice at >99.9%. She loves school and is cruising in the top group in her class which includes a couple of other gifted kids. She's working between 2 and 4 years ahead in class depending on the topic (plus the skip) and just having a ball but still finding the work mostly straight forward. She's extremely happy socially. She is also simply not remotely interested in 'academics'. I keep hearing or reading about kids who are fascinated with maths or history or science. Not my dd. Other than a love of high fantasy fiction she's just not driven the way I see other kids described. She's tried lots of different activities and is interested for a bit and then moves on. I have to admit I'm a bit the same, so I kind of get it, but is has meant I've wandered from one thing to the next.

Now, I realise this is the gifted equivalent of a first world problem - but I guess I sometimes wonder what to do with her. I have a very happy kid in a school with a gifted cohort. She's top of her group in lost of areas and being extended. But she's not really developing any study skills and she's reluctant to put herself out there if there is a risk she wont succeed (I guess that is the thing that concerns me most).

Does anyone else have a kid like this? What are people's thoughts? Is it worth pushing more or, at 6, do I just let things ride for a bit more?

I'm no expert on gifted issues, but I can say my DD9 is like that. We SHOULD have skipped 2nd grade in hindsight. On another forum Suki Wessling had this to say to a similar question about underachievement, and it stuck with me:


I've also dug up this thread and that thread which touch upon this.

Happy and well-rounded is a great achievement in a gifted child. Many gifted children who are like spearpoints in their focus and passion can have serious emotional and social issues too. When I got DD's test scores back I thought I had failed to recognize some little professor and bought her science books and advanced literature. She showed little interest.

If your child is like my child, I think it's very important they are made to take on a challenge consistently over time, like playing piano. Something where there is infinite room for progress, yet they must work hard to reach the next step, and learn to persevere and break through their perfectionism. Because in 99% of the public schools they are not going to learn that.

For now I'm just making sure DD is truly happy and has opportunities to use her gifts. I also make sure she tells me what's going on inside, because she tends to only adapt and never complain. The other night I was so proud of her. She told me she was being kind to the gifted boy whom the other children tease daily, the one who "knows everything about Harry Potter and snakes" and the one who, when asked in 3rd grade what he wanted most, told the teacher, "for someone to say they love me." She made them stop their teasing game and she has intentionally said hello to him every day since 3rd grade.

Your daughter is a beautiful person The world would be a better place if more kids were like her. What she's done for this poor boy is more important than any test score.

Pru, thank you so much for your post and the links to the other threads (and your daughter sounds like a wonderful, generous person).

I read through the threads and there was so much valuable information in there. People don't look at dd and take her as gifted, she's so laid back (hence testing, we just weren't convinced the first test was accurate - she was really young and while she'd show spurts of amazing ability mostly she's happy reading and playing).

She goes to a school where the parents are very competitive and I constantly get asked about how far ahead she is in class. She's so happy I've never found out the specifics which people seem to be tantamount to child abuse (we changed schools early due to much unhappiness so I have a good sense of what unhappy dd looks like and the contrast with happy dd). I know and am comfortable that she's super smart, but sometimes, from their reactions, I think that perhaps I should be doing more. I'm not sure what more we could do other than force her to do academic stuff - she has piano lessons, has tried a load of different extracurricular things, does different holiday programs each break and so on. She loves trying new things, but then moves on. It's lovely to know other people's kids are like that too.

But even with piano she doesn't have to try much - she gets given a new piece each week, learns it with 10 minutes practice a few days a week and then has it down. So I worry that nothing is an effort. But I get the sense she's much more interested in relationships and how the world works than anything else. Much like your dd, Pru, she'd rather figure out the items she'll make for her future confectionary shop or working on jokes for her career as a comedian.

(apologies for typos, lack of clarity etc - typing on a mobile)

There are some core things things wrong with that formulation, IMO.

Academic pursuits ARE a form of doing. It's a false dichotomy to say that there's science, math, literature, and then the real stuff. Making knowledge IS doing.

I also don't think interests are immutable, at all. My DS was terrified of the woods at age 3. He is now an accomplished hiker. We worked against his fears by not giving into them, and we have taken lots of opportunities to expose him to things he was not at first interested in.

It turns out that "I'm bored" is often code for "I don't know about that yet." Interest can be cultivated.

But I do agree, there is nothing that says a gifted person has to be interested in academics. There are gifted people who use their gifts building really beautiful furniture. There is a NOVA episode where the magician Teller (of Penn and Teller) actually speaks-- and he is obviously an extremely intelligent person. Making the world better comes in all ways.

DeeDee

Hey Nerdnproud, especially at that age, I find my DS6.5 is an explorer who likes to dabble in a wide variety of different things and has an imaginitive bent. He has a professed interest in science but it hasn't shaped into anything yet. I think there is a definite merit and if a kid is wired as a breadth first person with a creative focus, it is a completely viable path. Interest in high fantasy seems to be a correlate there too. Other terms I've seen associated are "big picture" thinkng and "high conceptual."

It seems unfortunate that despite talk of a need for innovation, that there isn't a gifted creative or high concept academic path through schools that I've heard of.

Nerdnproud, it sounds like your DD and mine are similar, and I'm looking forward to what others have to say. Can't say that I've figured out yet what makes my DD tick. I can say that as a 6.5 yo 2nd grader my DD also loved school. This year as a 7.5 yo in 3rd grade, her enthusiasm for school has waned and I'm not sure why...and she denies it, although it's obvious to her dad & me. I'm planning on having her tested & hoping that will give me some answers, and some documentation if I need to talk with her teacher.

I have one of these. DeeDee I get what you are saying that Academic pursuits ARE "doing" that idea was poorly phrased I think. But my 99.9 barely 6yrl old would rather ponder the beauty of barren tree limbs against a delicate sunset (dreamily: "It's like art in the sky mummy...") than actively learn about fractals. At least for now. She's HG+ at dress ups and sand pit and then randomly comes out with these wow comments in the quiet moments between family chaos. She's contemplating her navel and the world at large and forming amazing connections. Not many of them to do with academic pursuit right now.