Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Is it normal?

Although I already know the answers, or I think I do, or w/e...

I still want to ask, because I'm particularly frustrated right now.

By the way, English is not my mother's tongue, I'm sorry if the words are weird sometimes, although I'm not sure if that's going to be the case, I just wanted to specify...

Is it normal to be impatient towards other people with a slow mind?

Of course it is... still, I'd like to see, an answer.

I mean no, seriously, I totally hate that people seem to think so slowly, why can't they THINK, dammit, I want them to be better, to have a mind at work.

And is it me, or the world is awfully going in the wrong direction?

Of course it is... still, well you know, I'd like to see your answer.

Where are the others?? I mean where are the other people who actually think? The gifted? It drives me mad to have a conversation with anyone because they all seem to get it wrong so often (not all the time, but most of the time). I feel like I'm holding the hand of everyone each time I talk to them about something they're not sure or when they're plain wrong (I'm not talking about convictions there, when I say plain wrong, it jumps at the eye, it's just *that* obvious). I just want to talk with other people who can think. Else I feel like I'm imposing on the others, it drives me insane.

Is it normal that everyone's so poor? I mean, seriously? It seem all so easy to not be poor.

ARRGGGGG

Why is everything so awkward...

I feel lonely. But you know that already, probably. I hope you do.

I know it's wrong but I have said, "what makes you think you have the right to be wrong?". But when people are allowed to do and say the wrong thing so much and people tell you "it's ok because you're smarter than them." or people think it's ok to be wrong A LOT as long they admit when they're wrong.  It's almost like people try to be wrong to prove they can get away with it. (or to prove they're normal?)   I need to find a way to change how I think about this.
Get a hobby.  Read some books. 

Now I know what this is called
-outward directed perfectionism

Perfectionism is what makes us gifted.  It is also a form of self-loathing.  Sometimes we aim this dark side of perfectionism at ourselves, sometimes we direct it at those around us.  There is a dark side of perfectionism, but it's tiny compared to the benefits.

  "you're focusing too much on the crazy and not enough on the awesome".  This planet is neat.  So start looking for the extraordinary now while you got the chance.   

Uh, I've been without coffee for three days because I broke my coffee pot, but then I remembered I have a coffee pot in my camping pot.  So I'm loaded up on coffee and should probably quit typing now.

Since this thread has already left the reservation, I'd just like everyone to know that I just got a baby coffee pot that only makes four cups of coffee at a time.

I had no idea that they made baby coffee pots like this!

Well, I knew that there were Keurig (or whatever) coffee pots, but they're just designed to sell overpriced coffee.

If I were a girl, I would decorate it with pink flowers and ribbons.

Yeah, well, I said that to someone who likes to argue about every little thing, but doesn't want to bother learning anything when they're wrong- it's annoying.

Eta: it is not normal. It is the dark side of perfectionism. Google perfectionism you'll see perfectionism OCD perfectionism anxiety perfectionism depression and perfectionism treatment.

Error has no rights.

Right?

And the problem isn't really whether it's *normal*. It's whether it's *healthy and beneficial*. And the answer is no.

Flowers and ribbons...

You crack me up.

Hi, Tetriste. It's not normal, it's superior to normal, if you catch my drift. A very wise person once taught me that the following is a good way to speak to such people:

"I am profoundly more than you in ways which you can only begin to comprehend. We have spoken enough for now, and I grow tired of your questions. You are dismissed." (or simply "Begone!")

Another piece of wisdom I've gleaned from this site: you can never have enough handbags.

Welcome.

Today, I also learned that I am "cisgendered" or "cissexual".

Because of this, I have decided that it is inappropriate for me to use handbags as an accessory. So, I'm going to have to disagree with you there on the entire handbag thingy.

I am still torn on whether I should burn scented candles, though.

There's nothing quite like making your office smell like Christmas in the middle of the summer.

From Wikipedia:

"Kristen Schilt and Laurel Westbrook defined cisgender as a label for "individuals who have a match between the gender they were assigned at birth, their bodies, and their personal identity", complementing transgender.[2] A similar adjective is gender-normative; Eli R. Green wrote, "The term 'cisgendered' is used [instead of the more popular 'gender normative'] to refer to people who do not identify with a gender diverse experience, without enforcing existence of a 'normative' gender expression."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cissexual

JonLaw: You generally impress me, but *I* have had a 4 cup coffee maker so long its getting hard to clean. So HAH!

I may not be cisgendered, I would never put flowers or ribbons on my coffee pot. Or cary a handbag. Purse, yes. Handbag. No. There are a couple of woodworking knives and an axe next to the coffee maker, is that more masculine than flowers and ribbons? I can point you to a good knife seller if you'd like?

I love scented candles, but due to a spice allergy, I can no longer have anything containing "parfum" "fragrance" etc on my clothing/hair or near my kid. Um, no, not THAT spice.

It really, genuinely, actually, IS exceptionally normal to be grumpy and irritable. Even dumb people get grumpy enough to think geneii (sp?) are dumber than they (the dumb people) are. What's not wise is assuming one's irritability is a sign of genius. It's really just a sign of a sore foot, frustrating year, or lack of coffee. Or lack of ribbons. Or... lack of cisgenderedness, for that matter. One of my good friends, the one who solves our 5x5 rubics cube into a new fancy pattern every week, is notable for his ability to take anyone seriously, and I've watched him learn things he cared about from some of the least brilliant people I know. Dumb mistakes are the kind of thing smart people fail to make, which makes them valuable.

erm... yeah.

...I get frustrated with my husband - does that count?

(bah ha ha hee hee)

A-hem. Sorry.

Seriously though - he has his area of cognitive strength (i.e. very mechanical, memorizes formulas, etc), but he is not at all abstract, can NOT multitask AT ALL, and doesn't get metaphors (I live metaphorically!!). Sometimes I'll start talking and he'll just stare at me, dumbfounded. So then I have to start over and s-i-m-p-l-i-f-y. sigh.

S'okay. I can talk to myself instead

Oh and I'm in the "no flowers on the coffee pot" camp. ;p

I don't remember where my axe is. It's a tiny throwing axe. I got in in Wyoming. Fortunately, there was no problem when I threw it into my carry on bag and took in onto the plane to fly home.

Having an axe under the seat while I was in a commercial airliner made me feel extra safe.

I don't drink coffee. I tried it occasionally when I was 20 or so, but by the time I was 21 or 22, I realized that it will always taste like muddy dishwater to me. Other people appear to enjoy drinking it. I find this odd, even though I know I'm the odd one.

My husband has a coffee pot, but not a baby one. It's definitely a grown-up coffee pot. He put a fruit bowl next to it (no flowers). Then my son bought a porcelain chicken and put it next to the fruit bowl. The chicken seems comfortable with its gender identity. But its never been to Wyoming.

(Welcome Tetriste; sometimes, this is how we say we hello.)

Other side of the coin:

I hate when my husband says (in a condescending, annoyed tone), "what is taking you so long to figure this out? It's easy. Just do the math."

Of course it's easy. IF you have an IQ higher than 99.99% of the population. In the meanwhile, my cylinders are all engaged but spinning out like some idiotic teenager who thought it a good idea to take Daddy's Hummer to the sand pit for some 4-wheeling.

It isn't whether your feelings are normal. They are normal for you. What is needed is to ask yourself the question as to whether these are the feelings you want to have about others around you. We choose our daily existence, in part, by the thoughts we choose to entertain and nurture. If you don't want your feelings of superiority and impatience to be what you feed on, then don't feed on it. Volunteer in a severely handicapped classroom and learn that victory sometimes means being able to pick the right image on a page with only three choices. Volunteer at a veteran's hospital and learn that conquering sometimes means walking unassisted for three steps.

What you need is empathy. Only you can decide you want it, though.

And, Jon, flowers on coffee pots...that is just so 70's.

... but only if they are in shades of Avodado and Harvest Gold.

(ick)

I'm fortunate enough to live in a household of 99%-ers, so we act as a built-in haven for one another on this particular point. We rant among ourselves when life gets to us in this way.

Yes, it's normal to feel exasperated with the pace and general inanity/ridiculousness of the world at large when you live out of step with the majority of the population.

I'm guessing that anyone with an 'exceptionality' in any of life's major spiritual or cognitive areas feels this sense of existential angst toward civilization as a whole.

How can people be so _________???!!

(Stupid, mean, disgusting, selfish, weak-willed, self-destructive, impatient, lacking in common sense, etc. etc.)


We save our rants for one another. If it bothers you because you have no one to share this with, then search out some like-minded and like-you people to hang around with. They do exist. It's a problem to feel this way all the time, though-- because it is toxic. Such feelings eventually are corrosive. Like putting actual dishwater with dishwashing detergent through your coffeepot daily, basically.

Stick to espresso grind and tap water. That's my advice.

Hmmm... depends on the tap water. I used filtered, cold. Double paper filters, remove from heat as soon as it's brewed, stir, then pour into creamo (and not the reverse). Ahhhh...



Amen. Very well said

Hey, look! My clientele!

Although, in my case, victory often means "Yes! You get medical care now! Winning!"

He's JonLAW, of course it's shades of avocado! Sheesh. How can you be soo... erm, um, oops.

Michaela, you crack me up.

Jon - I forgot that this was your clientele. Let me just say ... while you "figure out what you want to do with your life", what you're doing in the meantime is amazing. The amount of effort and money an insurance company or provider will spend trying to avoid spending money on someone with a disability is mind-boggling. I'm glad that at least a few have your acumen to help them tilt at windmills with a bit of success!

They generally don't spend more than about $1,000, as far as I can tell. If they spent real money, it would be a problem.

Insurance companies are generally pretty easy to beat, if approached in the right way and sued appropriately.

We have one of those-- and it's a lovely shade of turquoise (which, being a girl, I totally appreciate).

Seriously, I think they market them this time of year especially for college kids. Possibly color-blind ones, judging by the Barbie Pink and Lurid Violet ones which sat on the shelf next to mine.

I had a birthday party for DD10 this weekend. My wife prepared nice pink goody boxes for the girls with girl stuff inside and green/blue boxes for the boys.

Naturally, the boys took the pink boxes, so now they have nice pink flower stuff.

When I was young I made straight A's in school. I used to be a very good test taker and felt very smart because of it. I was able to get jobs that paid well because I scored higher on employment tests than most of the other people who took the tests.

I am one of the slow people now. I think my son sometimes gets impatient with me when I have to ask him how to do things on the computer. We sometimes race each other to do algebra problems and he always wins. He feels good about this. Occasionally he asks me why I am so slow.

I am slowly thinking about why this might be. Let's see. My first thought is that sleep deprivation slows me down--coffee no longer works for me at this point. I read to my 14-year-old son every night to help him fall asleep. He has to wear a painful scoliosis brace and he is more sensitive than a lot of people. The last several hours of brace wearing each day are the hardest and I told him three years ago when he first started wearing a brace that I would help him through this. I stay up until about 4 a.m. with him. My husband wakes up at 6 a.m. so I wake up, fall asleep, and wake up again until I can see it is just futile and I stay up. This morning my husband had another skin cancer surgery and I had anxiety about that. I think I got about 5 hours of sleep.

I let my son sleep as much as he can before I have to wake him up and put the brace back on him. The stress I feel doing this makes me tired. Not only am I slow but I am also very cranky. My son gets more sleep than I do and that's okay. He needs to get enough sleep so that he can learn. I just try to ignore his comments about me being slow.

Although I am actually middle class, I often feel poor. I worry that I won't be able to afford college for my son and I don't want him to take out student loans. When I was young I thought I would have more money than I have now, but life happened. Things happened that were beyond my control and that caused anxiety. I watched all the people who I was closest to deal with painful health issues. This raised my blood pressure. Blood pressure medication slows me down even more but as a highly sensitive person I have trouble trying to keep calm and carry on. I am the slowest of slow when I have a migraine.

If my son doesn't learn anything else, I want him to learn to have compassion for slow people who might be having a bad day, a bad month or a bad year.

As far as being lonely, my son and I know all about that. He didn't fit in with people who accept being told what to think and neither did I. He won't pretend to be like the other kids just to fit in.

Well, it sounds like I'm much like your husband. I'm sure I drive my wife nuts at times. We all have our blessings and our weaknesses.

I have trouble "seeing" text in my head. Many of my posts probably evidence this as my spelling has much to be desired. My wife can verbally spell a word and she has to repeat it perhaps 3 times before I see the letters form in my brain. On the other hand, I can look at a 2D blue print and build it in 3D in my mind in no time flat and see that picture in my mind in a heart beat. To me it's frustrating meeting with clients who need me to draw EVERYTHING for them in many perspectives just to grasp a simple concept visually. What's even more frustrating for me is how many clients come into our business ready to spend between 5k and 500k and have no idea what they want. Decision making for me comes very quickly.

Again, we all have our blessings and our weaknesses. The frustration comes when we focus on people's weaknesses rather than looking for their strengths and focusing on them be it in conversation, in education, or at leisure.

Lately my frustration is in people confusing the following:

Management and Leadership
Knowledge and Wisdom
Fair and Equal

Nicely said.