Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Sarcastic remarks about my son

I am sure that many of you with gifted children have probably received remarks that seem sarcastic, passive agressive and seem to stem from jealousy in reference to your chld/children.

I am bringing this up because I have a son who is 2 years and 9 months and already reading at about a 7 year old level. He also taught himself sign language and loves to spell words to people everywhere we go.

This does not always get a positive reaction. He goes to a community center a few hours a week where he plays with other children and loves his teacher there. However, there is a woman who is part of the staff that has been acting very nasty towards my son. She is aware of his abilities and has children of her own. She is very competitive in nature and has stated that she doesn't like anyone doing better than her.

When I drop off my son and we are waiting in the lounge while I sign him in she always tries to talk to him but he wants nothing to do with her. He ignores her and won't even look at her but he'll talk to everyone else. Obviously there is something about her he does not care for.

The last time I dropped my son off and she tried talking to him, he ignored her as he always does and she said to him "ok you don't have to answer me, I bet you can spell the answer huh can't you" he continud to ignore her. I was shocked that she was making these sarcastic passive aggressive remarks to a 2 year old. I wondered if I should say anything or not.

Later that same day I was disgussing possible education plans for my son with the daycare teacher and we mentioned Montessori schools as a possiblity. This same woman interrupted our conversation and jumped in front of me to talk to the teacher without even acknowleging I was in the middle of a conversation. She then goes on to start saying negative things about Montessori schools. This behavior seems very petty and I believe it all stems from jealousy over my sons gift.

I have ignored her so far and my son ignores her as well. I'm sorry this post is so long. If you read all of this, how would you deal with this situation. Should I say anything about her behavior or just continue to ignore her?

We've dealt with this sort of thing for some time with a woman who works at our daycare facility, although not as extreme as what you're going through. If someone jumped in front of me and interrupted my conversation, I'd call her on it on the spot. I'd also say something immediately to her if she addressed my son that way, and follow up with someone in charge. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

I don't think I'd be comfortable leaving my child in that person's care. In your shoes, I'd have a word with the supervisor/director ASAP.

DeeDee

Thanks for your response Iucounu. I can see where you are coming from about saying something to this woman, quite honestly, I just felt like it was better to ignore her. She is the one acting like a child with no manners who has not been taught how to say excuse me. I didn't want to get down on her level. My sons teacher ignored her as well and she left probably feeling embarassed. I really didn't know what to say to her..I was surprised by how ridiculous she was acting.

She made that comment to my son and he ignored her, it didn't seem to hurt him any, and it showed that obviously she has a problem with him spelling at the level he is. I really get so tired of people like that projecting their feelings of inferiority and inadequacy on me and my child. Ignoring it is usually how I deal with it, unless I felt that he was in danger, and then I would definitely say something. All of this is just plain frusterating. She should be focused on finding her own kids gifts and developing them.

I find myself concerned about how she speaks to or otherwise treats your son while you aren't present, especially given the difference in how your son interacts with her versus other staff. If she has the audacity to speak that way to him in your presence, I cannot imagine what she may be saying when you aren't there. He's so young (and even if he wasn't) that I cannot imagine enduring what might be termed hostile treatment, at best, is helpful.

Enough said. Just something for you to consider.

DeeDee, this woman is not the one that watches my son when he's there. She teaches some classes and leaves her 4 year old at the daycare there while she works. She does come in the classroom at times and this is how she knows he is gifted. It's a community center and childcare is just one of the services offered there.

Mom2277 I see what you are saying. I am very concerned and maybe I just shouldnt take him there anymore. I didn't want to run away from this because seeing how he is gifted, I figure I will be dealing with this for many years.

If you have other options, I wouldn't take him back. And I would tell the director why. If she is that inappropriate in front of you, I cannot imagine what she says to other children when adults aren't present.

I see what you are saying ABQMom, I will not be leaving him there anymore. He really loves his teacher there, but I am not confident that she will protect him from this. He will be back in full time daycare at a different center in the fall anyway. I work in schools and have the summer off so I only take him here in the summer just to give me a little break once a week. I just get so tired of this kind of crap.

I think some adults are not used to having a young kid around that can follow their conversations. They are used to talking about 2,3 and 4 year old kids like they are not there. My son was two when he came home during the first week of PreK and asked "why did my teachers say lawyer's kids always the most argumentative in the class?".
Apparently he'd overheard the teacher and aide talking about him. He had and continues to have a tendency to question the reason behind rules and make suggestions on ways rules can be improved.
He knew they were talking about him, he knew what argumentative meant but I had to explain why they thought that was a negative trait.