Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Just wants to go to work

Do any of your kids at middle school age, just want to go to work? My DD is doing volunteer work this year that will lead to a paid position as soon as she is in HS, however she is not eligible for pay at her age. We understand what she is feeling, but also feel this is the time where she is able to "call off" to hang with friends or be spontaneous....so many years of work ahead of her...we would like her to have some "care free" days. She seems to like the structure and responsibility of the "working world". What say the experts?

In our experience, it appears that unstructured free time turned out to be the absolute worst thing for my DD, we didn't realize it at the time but it led to inertia and depression. We responded by "taking the pressure off" and further reducing her responsibilities which led to further malaise. Actually, it was volunteering that finally helped bring dd out of her depressed state.

I would follow your DD's lead, if she is enjoying volunteering I would not discourage it, it is probably giving her a sense of purpose and satisfaction that is just as, if not more rewarding than hanging out with friends. In my DD's case, she actually preferred the company and conversation of the elderly volunteers with whom she was working to that of her age mates.

We are not discouraging volunteering at all. Just thought that she would find free time a chance to do "whatever"...we are finding that she does not self initiate well.

I apologize if I came off as judgmental, that was not my intention at all. My DD also does not self initiate. My older DD had a pack of running buddies at that age and they would always be off doing something fun together, I felt bad for younger DD for not having this experience, but I found if I did not plan out activities or play dates for her, nothing would happen. TBH, I am not sure younger DD even enjoyed hanging out with her age peers like her sister did (maybe because they weren't really intellectual peers)

I also think some people just thrive on structure.

I didn't find your post judgemental at all. Thank you for your input.

I worked all the time when I was a kid from the time I was old enough to detassle and babysit. I started working at Hardees on my 16th birthday and by the time I was 17 I was already the night supervisor. Some people are just driven by a work ethic I think. I enjoyed working when I was a teen, though I wish I would have been more involved as well in things other then work. I think you just need to help your daughter find that happy balance. Good luck!