Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional When are OE's really 2E?

Naming something as a disability isn't the same as blaming the child--to the contrary, it can be such a relief for a person to know why they are a certain way, it's how they're made, and not their fault. Naming it as a disability basically says, "oh, this bit seems to be hard for you because of X. You may need some extra help there." But yes, some people fit more easily into their environs than do others.

I agree with you, Ultra, that human variation needs to be accepted with generosity and tolerance-- but if we accept the full range of it as "normal," including the very troubling parts, then, for example, my kid's desperately needed services wouldn't have been covered by insurance at all, which would be a problem. The labeling of disabilities is a practical as well as an existential matter.

DeeDee

Sorry, you're right--I don't mean BLAME the child. But...you know what I mean. If a 5yo gifted boy is motor-excitable and doesn't want to sit down and do alphabet worksheets in K, is it because there is something wrong with him, or something is wrong with that environment? Sometimes the answer is gray, but sometimes not so much.

And no, I don't think we should accept the full range of human variation as normal. But I do think it can be hard to decide where the cutoffs are.

Ultramarina- You're right, of course, to an extent, but my concern is that my 6yo has a hard time sitting in school as well as at church, at the dining room table, at restaurants, etc... You get the idea My even larger concern is more in the arena of emotional OE/2E- specifically anxiety issues. I'm seeing phobias that appear to not be getting better (toilets and bathrooms among other things) and may be getting worse as well as worries and anxieties that may be starting to cause somatic symptoms ("it feels like I'm not breathing even though I am", "my stomach feels fizzy").

At the same time, he does seem 'normal' most of the time. How often does it have to be limiting in some way before you consider it to be 'pathological' instead of a 'normal variation'?

I hear you, and I also have two anxious children--one more so than the other, but they are both high-strung. I think one is diagnosable (and indeed, she has been diagnosed, but is not considered severe enough for medication) and the other is just...on the higher end of normal. It may help you somewhat to hear that we had a self-flushing toilet fear in both and that it is long gone for my oldest and vanishing for my youngest. Indeed, most issues here have come and gone, and few have been long-term (tornadoes, which are a semi-reasonable fear where we live, and general death anxiety persist in my oldest) suggesting that we have more of a generalized high level of anxiety than specific phobias. DS was petrified of thunderstorms last summer, and now seems not to be afraid of them at all (now he's afraid of monsters and bears). I would say that if you feel concerned, regardless of "Is it or isn't it?" (and believe me, I know how you feel), it is worth looking into some ways to help your son. Therapy may not be called for yet, but some research and reading may clarify things for you. The physical symptoms your son reports do sound like anxiety. We do not have those here, which is interesting. They always are listed on the many forms we have completed.

A diagnosis is often needed to get an IEP and services/help through EI (early intervention), preschool, or grade level with a school system. Without it, you're on your own or left to go through the insurance company or obtaining a lawyer to sue a school system/Board of Education (done that).

The problem is that some issues, like sensory integration, can take years before they become more manageable/settle down. Therapy can take years; my son was in pt and ot for 5 years. Insurance companies often cut you off at a certain point/time. That's one of the reasons why special needs parents scramble to get a diagnosis, an IEP, and services/help. Otherwise, you won't get the services/help. And you can quickly go broke paying out of pocket for ot, pt, feeding, vision, speech therapies, etc. Yet without them, your child may stagnate and not move forward. So it's a catch 22. That's why EI is so critical.

I know Dr. Linda Silverman's work is sometimes criticized on this forum, but she's got a section on overexcitabilities, creativity, and visual spatial learners in her book, Upside-Down Brilliance, and techniques for overactive children. Changing the environment is one option that may work, but I agree it's rather difficult to do in public bathrooms that have loud flushing toilets and even louder hand dryers, which have been a nightmare for us.

One issue with school is that the vast majority of schools still expect the child to fit the curriculum rather than having the curriculum fit the child. Universal Design for Learning (http://www.udlcenter.org/aboutudl/udlguidelines) was primarily designed for those with print disabilities (i.e. dyslexia), but I've e-mailed them about 2e kids and how they're getting the real short end of the stick in terms of education. UDL advocates using digital technology or other ways to make the curriculum fit the child, but until schools start to embrace it - you're still dealing with the rote learning, sitting for long periods of a time, on-task behavior, completing homework, etc.

So as long as schools/Board of Education continue to hold the pursestrings/control on whether a child gets an IEP and services/help, we're going to be in this situation. No one knows how many 2e kids there are - http://www.nea.org/assets/docs/twiceexceptional.pdf. Without more public awareness on UDL and different ways of thinking/learning/doing, we're going to continue to be in this situation, I fear.

Like the NEA pamphlet states, "Although there is evidence that students can be both gifted and disabled simultaneously, limited awareness causes many school systems not to provide services to students who are twice-exceptional. This practice is in direct opposition to the demonstrated needs of students with dual exceptionalities. In particular, two significant obstacles negatively impact how schools service twice-exceptional students: 1) inadequate identification
procedures, and 2) the lack of access to appropriate educational experiences."

No wonder so many of us are homeschooling/unschooling are children!