Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Advice for talking with parents of non-GT children

Chelle -
I think it sounds like you are handling things well. This board is SUCH a godsend. It's a sanity-saver. I hope to see you posting here often!

Chelle - you've already gotten a lot of great advice, so I'll just add one thing. Try not to worry about people's potential reactions until they actually happen (and *if* they actually happen). Remember that most of us parents really care about our own children, but other people's children aren't so much the center of our universe Our friends will be happy and cheer our kids on, and other people, casual acquaintances or whoever... most likely won't really care all that much. I think sometimes we (as parents of gifted kids) will think other parents will be jealous etc of our kid's opportunities or accomplishments, but I think in reality it happens far less frequently than we'd think it would

Best wishes,

polarbear

I would add that it might be helpful to stress that it was a decision made with the staff at the current school. So, something like, "After several discussions with the [current]school, we've all decided that we need to give another school a try, so we've decided to try [new] school. Hopefully it will go well!"

You have gotten good advice, but I do want to be honest with you and tell you that we got some negative reactions when we switched our DD to a gifted magnet (which did in fact have the word "gifted" in its name). I handled it just as was suggested here and still, it didn't go over well. I'm still friends with all of these people (these are close friends) and the feelings seem to have "blown over" for the most part, but it will be a while before I entirely forget some of the comments that were made. I don't think the comments were made out of jealousy, btw.

Again, I really appreciate all the advice, thank you all! I'm just curious, so I can anticipate potential reactions, what were some of the reactions you experienced, ultramarina? Thank you!

Chelle, here's a thread I started at the time:

http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....05682/Responding_to_anti_GT_remarks.html

Here is the unfortunate thing, btw: a year at my DD's school has made it clear that in fact, the gifted magnet DOES provide a level of enrichment and "perks" not made available to other children. Yes, the work is harder and the pace is faster--but they also seem to go on more field trips and have more interesting hands-on activities and guest speakers. The kids like this, of course, and as a parent, I like it (how could I not?)--but I see how it could breed exactly the kind of resentment and contempt that my friends appear to feel. It's a very nice program, but I wonder if they are shooting themselves in the foot. Of course, part of the reason they can support this is that they have a highly involved parent base.

I am late to the thread, but I thought I'd mention one thing I didn't see already mentioned. I've had children at several schools and don't currently have children in our local public school; I've also watched families leave schools. I think it is very helpful to people to know you are leaving for a better fit, yes, but also that you are not leaving because you are dissatisfied with the school in general. People want to feel like they've made a good choice, it's unsettling to watch families that you respect pull their child out of what you think is a good choice school. I have been careful to talk about how great the schools that we've left have been in x,y, and z, and how we will miss p,d and q... You will get a better response if you let them know there is no "hidden" deficiency in the school you are leaving (if that makes sense)

I totally agree with this, and I was very careful to do this. Interestingly, I got far fewer negative reactions from the parents of kids at my DD's school (who may have had a better idea of the school and how DD functioned in it) than from parents whose kids do not go there. It may be that I handled it more carefully with the former group and was less on my guard with the latter--I don't know.