Hi, DeHe.
First we need to clarify what kind of meeting this is: Normally after the school gets test results they do a meeting to go over the test results and determine educational *needs* first. (They are legally required to do the testing, though they often accept the results of testing from outside in addition to their own evaluation.) In our district this first meeting is called an ETR, but your mileage will vary. Then-- normally at a second meeting-- they take the needs established at the first meeting and develop an IEP. You should first make sure you understand what is on the docket for this coming meeting, so you will know what to expect; it's OK to ask this directly of the person who scheduled the meeting.
(If he already has an IEP, the ETR is done only every three years unless needs change conspicuously.)
If this is the post-testing meeting, where needs are determined, you want to go in with a list of everything your DS has trouble with, and make sure all significant items get into the testing report. Even if you don't want services for each item now, make sure they are noted, because if next year you want services for them, it saves a lot of trouble if they are written in the report. You cannot get services or supports for anything that is not noted in the testing report, so it is very important to make sure all your concerns are represented.
It is permissible to ask them for test results for you to review in advance. I have never succeeded in getting them before the meeting, but you can ask.
Do you have outside testing to bring to bear on the problem? If so, sources vary about whether it is right to produce them right away, or let the school come to their conclusions first; unless it is an utterly hostile situation, I usually offer results to the school, because it makes the school's information more complete and moves the process faster.
If you suspect they will not be thorough or understand the 2E situation, or you see that directly in the meeting, you might consider outside testing with someone who understands 2E. You do not have to sign anything you disagree with; if you disagree with the outcome of their testing, don't sign the form, tell them how it looks to you so they understand why you are dissenting, and ask for a new meeting after you've had time to pursue outside testing. (They may ask you to sign a piece of paper that says you were there at the meeting but dissent from their findings. That's OK.)
Don't say "2E" in the meeting; avoid jargon of this kind if you can. That term is popular here, but not widely used in the world of public schools.
It is possible, if you disagree with their results, to get a school district to pay for an independent educational evaluation; but it is slow and expensive. We have always just used our own resources. The details on that process are in the book From Emotions to Advocacy, I believe.
If they fail to see the giftedness adequately, or you doubt their results on the testing for disabilities, you definitely need outside testing/ assessment to help you make your case.
If you think they describe your DS pretty well (you will have a gut feeling about this), you can accept their findings and/or make additional comments-- you are a full member of the team and can make observations about typical behavior for your child, or note details of the writing problems, what kinds of assignments he finds it difficult to start, etc.
If this is some kind of post-testing AND IEP meeting combined-- well, that will be a long one. At an IEP meeting you take each identified need (identified in the testing report) and figure out what benchmarks for progress would look like (IEP goals), and how the school will move him toward those benchmarks (services and supports). Can be accommodations, or direct services, or consultation with professionals who are not the teacher, or any combination of those. Here you are looking for specificity in the goals (are they isolatable and observable/ can someone take data to ensure that the benchmark is met?). As well as reasonableness: if they are making a goal that requires a big leap for your DS, how do they plan to support that, and what are the steps that get him there?
Parents tend to jump right to the services in their thinking (what will you do to help my child) when they really need to follow the school's process (needs-- goals-- services). Knowing what's happening helps you make sure nothing gets skipped in the eventual outcome.
If it's a gifted school, do they do GIEPs? At our school children get a gifted ed plan, but it's not technically part of the IEP. However, school folks have definitely found it necessary to address giftedness during IEP meetings because his educational needs are determined by both his giftedness and his disability.
Sorry that was long. I clearly have done too much of this.
DeeDee
