Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school When to start pre-school?

DH and I are thinking of sending DD (16 months) to a "pre-school" 9 hours a week (3 mornings a week.)

DH and I are both working from home and have a lot to do every day. Of course we get interrupted throughout the day and just try to work when we can. Lately I'm getting bitten and pinched because DD plays happily for awhile but eventually starts getting stir crazy and starts acting out.

I thought it might be good for our marriage and DD to give us 9 hours of free time a week to do our work and hang out together at a coffee shop or library while we work. I think I'm a better mom when I get a break. (And I think after her 3 hours of excitement, DD will come home and conk out for a 1-2 hour nap which then gives me an extra bit of time to actually clean my house!)

Do you guys think that is too young? She'll be in a room with some other 12-18 month olds.

The school (daycare, really) has a routine they follow which will have her doing some story time, playing freely, going outside in the play area and dancing or playing musical toys during the 3 hours she'll be there. Our house isn't that structured and I certainly have nothing planned like that for our day because I have so much stuff I'm trying to get done.

We really don't NEED childcare since we both work from home right now, I just feel rejuvenated when I get the rare chance to go out with DH for a few hours and know my child is safe and being watched by someone else. My mom lives so far away that rarely happens.

What age did your lo's go to preschool?

Mine started at 7 weeks of age.

See if you can get them to put her in the 18mo-24 mo room, but if it makes you a better mother, and more satisfied wife, and you can afford it - go for it!

Smiles,
Grinity

We also work from home, but started our kids at 18 months for the reasons you listed. I personally believe it's good for the kids. It gives them a new environment and different experiences that you can't provide at home.

Let go of any guilt. Really. You don't need to justify your choice. Having some time apart is good for everyone.

Of my three, my oldest started daycare at 5 months when I had to go back to work full time (I didn't work at home). My dds both started preschool when they were around 18 months old, but they were adopted as toddlers and not home when they were infants. By the time I had my dds we'd found an actual preschool that took children as young as 18 months, it wasn't a daycare. There weren't children younger than 18 months there, but there could have been (imo) had the school wanted to open up the program to younger children.

I think your dd will be fine, and may have a lot of fun! I had my children attend preschool even when I wasn't working simply because it really did help me have a break from the intensity of parenting 24/7 - and in return I was a much better parent

I also found that for my 2 HG/EG kiddos, preschool was a necessity for my sanity - they were just sooooo so full of questions and excitement and overflowing with the need for constant brain stimulation when they were very young.... and I am old and didn't have enough mental energy to keep up with them!

Best wishes,

polarbear

The place where we lived when my DD was that age it was very common, for those not working full time outside the home, to put the kids in some program when they were 2 at the very latest, even just a few mornings per week. It was the type of city where there were lots of "transplants" so many families had no family support close by.

I think if your DD is acting like that (though it could be an age thing) it would probably be great for you both to have the separation from each other.

When I was little it was not that common for mothers to work outside the home (it was more as I was getting older) and my mother definitely would have been less stressed if she could have worked part-time and had us in a program. We were far away from family also. She missed the intellectual stimulation and has never been big on patience. It was not a problem when we were older, but when it was three little ones at home it really wasn't her cup of tea, though she muddled through and kept us busy with lots of "field trips" and museum classes.

Thanks.

Because of money, DH and I decided to try to adhere to a schedule so each of us gets around 4 hours free to work or whatever a day and we'll go to my moms once a week and go on a date alone. We did that today and it worked really well. I taught him how to make DDs oatmeal and he played with her all morning while I worked a bit. Then we switched. We are trying to night wean her and after I gave her a bath and nursed her, DH rocked her to sleep and she is sleeping now. It was a great day!

When he goes back to work though and we have more money I definitely will consider preschool.

When my daughter was that age I *really* needed occasional breaks from her as well. The toddler years were thrilling but demanding and exhausting. We had a part-time nanny care for and play with her a couple of afternoons a week, which was wonderful. She really needed the one-on-one attention and would not have done as well at preschool (though we did try one, briefly). I suspect, as with most things, it depends a lot on the child. But the bottom line is that if you need some downtime, it is in the whole family's best interests that you get it, one way or another! For a couple of years I was also religious about taking a "mom's night out" every week or two, either with a friend or alone. Just getting away from home without the tot for a few hours to see a movie or have dinner and conversation was soooo restorative.

A break is required for mental health.

Mr W (4y2m) was and still is exhausting to be around. And his little sister (15m) now "torments" us with books for hours on end.

At least Mr W would watch TV. The Womb Raider does not and will demand that you read every book in the house to her for the whole day without a break. Beginning at about 8am and until she goes to bed she has a book in hand demanding you read it to her. Once that one is read, she goes in her brother's room for another. (He has about 200 books.)

Our gym has a daycare, and they have a Mommy's Day Out program which would allow a member to leave their children in the daycare while the parents were off premises for up to 4 hours. Because it was a perk, the fee was reduced as well. I used it for doctor's appointments, when I needed to conduct an interview for an article I was writing, to go meet a friend or my husband for lunch, or just to go home and soak in a bubble bath without little fingers poking under the door. I also found it an exquisite luxury to actually write in sublime quiet when the kids were elsewhere.

In addition, I traded off with a friend once every other week so that we both got a free break.

Time to yourself if vital. Whether it is trading off with your spouse, giving the kiddo some Grandma time or paying for child care, you need some sanity time. And you are providing opportunities for your child that are good for social and emotional development. Adjusting to new surroundings and authority figures is a necessary coping skill, and learning that other little hedons do not play by the rules and figuring out how to stand up for oneself or choose to walk away and find a different activity are also useful.

And because all three of my kids were gifted, learning to interact with kids who didn't think like them or play like them was also a good experience.

I'm having flashbacks reading this.