Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Kid with anxiety + world issues

I thought I'd ask, since I know several of you on here have probably gone through this. DS8 has some anxiety issues, as well as a mood disorder. The mood disorder is pretty well under control now thanks to meds (yay proper meds!), the anxiety is the same as ever though. It doesn't manifest in any big way, so we aren't treating it right now (other than in counseling if something comes up), but he does typical anxiety things like chew his fingernails, skip meals, have trouble sleeping, etc. (The food and sleep problems don't happen very often.)

How do you handle it when a kid like this brings up some sort of major world problem/issue? DS started asking about gas/oil the other day. He's very concerned that we are digging oil out of the ground and burning it all up in our cars, and then we are going to run out, and then what will we all do?

I talked with him for a bit about electric cars and the stuff that's being worked on, and I think that pacified him. He's a fairly quiet kid a lot of the time, and I'm not sure he's not still worried about it.

ETA: Can I just say I love having a place where I can talk about the fact my child is worried about peak oil with people who actually understand?

The same thing we did before we used gas and oil.

You know. Most of recorded history. The part with horses instead of cars.

The real question is how much energy can be obtained through standard renewable resources, such as solar, geothermal, tidal, etc.

It's really "peak cheap energy vs. human labor" moreso that "peak oil". I don't know a thing about nuclear with respect to this discussion, so I've never been able to lock down any projections with respect to this.

Oh boy, do we ever deal with this. In fact, we avoid exposing DD to news, generally, which I realize is not going to be possible forever.

To some extent, information can help. However, in some cases we find that promisng DD she does not need to worry about X thing is necessary. I don't do this if I can't really promise it, but I have promised that, for instance, our house is not going to be bombed.

We have the same issue, here. No news in the house, too. It is nice to know we aren't alone.

When my older boy was 7 (I think that is right), I talked to him about the earthquake in Haiti, since it was on the news alot. Then the teacher had a special conference with us b/c he was expressing dark thoughts about how what if the school collapsed on everyone and they all died?
I don't do that anymore. I think many gifted children are very emotionally sensitive, and I just will wait until they are older to bring up mature topics like that.

And oh those commercials for organizations like Save the Children and World Wildlife Fund! "Mommy - did you hear that? WE HAVE TO HELP THEM!" Just the other day a man approached us on the street asking for money to catch a train home - "Mommy he must really be desperate - WE HAVE TO HELP HIM!"

I love that she is a generous, caring, thoughtful soul. However it will also be so easy for people to take advantage of her. It's a really hard line to walk.

With the man on street I explained that if we were at the train station and he said he needed money for his train ticket home I would happily go to the ticket window and help him buy his ticket but there are people who make up stories and take advantage of other people so we can't just hand someone money on the street. She seemed shocked that people would lie about needing help but accepted the explanation.

With larger world issues we look for tangible ways that she can feel like she is making a difference. i.e. over the past 2 years she has raised approximately $1200 for Relay for Life with a lemonade stand. She also brings dog/cat food, toiletries, toys, etc for every collection box at school. I think as long as she feels like she is doing something it all seems less overwhelming.

Smart kids with anxiety really keep us on our toes don't they?

DS is *definitely* not allowed to watch the news, nor does he watch live tv (pre-recorded stuff off the DVR, or things my husband has downloaded for him). I am pretty sure he learned about oil at school. This isn't the first time they've introduced topics at school that have sent DS's brain into overdrive (solar flares!? deforestation!? etc).

Sadly, the 'It's going to be fine, don't worry about it' answer rarely, if ever, seems to satisfy him.

We do try to do charity work and donations, to show him how you can actually help, but some things, like oil, just seem to be too abstract to do much about. (Abstract's not really the right word there, but it's Friday...)

Epoh - a couple of weeks ago we were at the Science Center and saw their film about ways to reduce your carbon footprint. Could something like this help your ds? I mean give him a tangible way to make a difference about even such a big issue? For example DD made me immediately unplug our electric can opener when we got home. Maybe he could figure out ways for you to drive X fewer miles each week, what would happen if you changed the temperature in your home by X degrees, calculate the savings if you dried X loads of laundry outside instead of in a clothes dryer, etc.

If he is going to think (or even fixate) about this problem maybe you can change his thought process so he looks at ways to help rather than just focus on the scary part. Or maybe take a page from JonLaw's post and have the family spend a day or a weekend roughing it - see what you would in fact do if you really had to? I can totally understand that the "don't worry" approach won't work - with mine that would just send her into overdrive. If I am not going to take it seriously then she will have to worry twice as much to make up for it.

Just a few ideas. Not sure if they help but thought I would throw them out there. Good luck!

I like the carbon footprint reduction idea. That will probably work for Wolf when it comes up. We also try to avoid a lot of the "adult" news issues with him.

He found out about the Mayan Doomsday madness and freaks out, like literally freaks out, whenever anyone mentioned anything at all about it. What we've done is explain that there are some things that adults like to discuss even though they aren't necessarily a real threat, just because adults like to think about possibilities. We tell him when a topic is that type of topic (we put politics in this category). It seems to help. There are things we can't do that with, things that are actual threats, but so far he hasn't fixated on any of those.

We've addressed this a couple times (most notably when my youngest were three, and the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked).
One of the things that I've pointed out from time to time, because we have a strong family tradition of public service, is that part of being smarter than the average bear means that potentially these children have more power to make positive change as adults. To use one's powers for good and not evil, as it were. That sense of "I can help fix things" is occasionally a weighty responsibility, but far more often a feeling that empowers and reassures, IME.