Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy exciting discussion - updated

You may remember that in the spring, early summer I had had a discussion with the middle school principal at my school about DD8 being radically accelerated into 6th grade for the gt English class, art and possibly science and he was very supportive and knew all of the research etc etc etc. When push came to shove however nothing was ever done and DD was not allowed to do this, so we decided to homeschool her.

Well, DH has been doing a pretty good job home schooling her and getting her set up with the middle school GT English teacher from my school to mentor her once a week and the high school art teacher to do the same.

We asked again before Christmas break about her being able to be enrolled 1/2 time in these three classes again and were again told no. This time we were told it was the guidance dept. and ed psych that said no - "she's too young" was the argument .

Fast forward to yesterday: The middle school principle came and found me yesterday and told me that DD8 will be able to go into gr6 starting Monday (the beginning of 2nd semester) in the three classes above!! Apparently the head of school pushed the issue because she finally realized that if we couldn't find a solution for an appropriate education for DDs then we would have to move to somewhere we could and then she would have to find another physics teacher (something that is hard to come by.)

So, as of yesterday DD8 is officially a 6th grader with partial enrollment at my school! We are so excited. She is a bit nervous, as are we, but mostly just excited about the opportunity for her to finally be challenged. I know the three teachers and they are all really good, and will be good fits for her.

I'll keep you all updated as things go along.

Congratulations - wonderful news!

Thanks for sharing all the ups and downs of Advocacy, it's really hard to realize that 'no' doesn't really mean 'no.' But so many times it just means 'I need more time to decide' or 'I need to vent a bit more' or 'Ask me again and look confident.'

And that's with a principal who knows all the research....

And yet sometimes folks will open their minds and do right after all.

Smiles,
Grinity

Kerry, I am SO HAPPY for you and your daughter!!! Great job!

Day one went well. DD has a couple of different students assigned to make sure she gets to where she needs to go for the next few days. When I asked her how her first day went she said "well, it went pretty well actually." For her that is almost as high praise as you get these days.
Apparently her teachers' all have different thoughts about her being in their classes. One is super excited at the challenge of educating her, one is nervous about trying to teach her and how to differentiate for her and the third is not at all concerned with the class work, but is concerned about the social aspect.
The other kids asked her how old she was and when she told them she was 8 a few of them couldn't believe it.

We'll see how tomorrow goes - we do 100 minute block schedules, so she'll have all 3 of her classes for 100 minuets each with 10 minutes break between periods 1 and 2 and then lunch and then 3rd period. I think she will be wiped by the time she gets done.

"You know Mommy, I think this is going to be a great year."

What better way can I sum up DD's 1st week as a 6th grader? (This is what she told me after school Thursday when asked what she thought of school.)

She is having a great time at school, she loves English and art, says science is too easy, but is still fun, so that's ok.
I can see the cafeteria from my classroom and she is eating with a group of kids and looks like she is having fun too, so no worries there.

We are so happy that this seems to be working out. Hopefully it will last.

That is awesome! It makes me happy to see schools working with these kids!

Great year is a long way from pretty good...and fast. Great news!

This is all such wonderful news! Congrats on your advocacy. I'm so happy for you and your DD.

Congrats. I think this is an amazing breakthrough for your family and others to follow. I'll bet the kids will be very sweet to her because she is only 8. They'll most likely adopt her as their mascot or little sister.

Keep us updated!

The principal talked to me today about DD and asked how she was liking school and the kids and the whole situation. When I said she was loving it and was so happy he was genuinely pleased for her. He said that the teachers are also reporting that they are happy with her in class, that she is not in the least bit intimidated by being with older kids and she participates in class and is doing really well.
I eat lunch with her art teacher, and she loves having DD in class because she has such a clear idea of what the teacher is talking about, but also has some thoughtful comments to make and questions to ask about variations on assignments. (For example, they had to bring in their sneakers to draw and practice different line shapes and thicknesses. Apparently DD was one of a few students who requested that they be allowed to bring in different shoes, rather than their sneakers because these other shoes had better line patterns on them!)
It is so nice to see DD come into my room after school beaming with excitement or bursting to tell me something she learned - something that has rarely happened in the past. And of course, the overflow into being happy at home is an added bonus.

Kerry, I love it! Good for DD for jumping in with both feet or eh shoes! LOL

The news keeps getting better - we definitely did the right thing pressing for this to happen.
DD got the only 100% on the latest science test, and she was only in class for the last 1/4 of the unit. The art teacher told me yesterday that DD makes her day. She loves her enthusiasm and interest and perspective on things and that she is not intimidated or anything.

The only slight snag is that in English they are reading and doing a lot with "7 essential habits for the teenager" and most of the things in there are so far away from DD's perspective she is having to work hard to figure out what she is supposed to do for some of the assignments. But, she is trying to figure them out and make some sense of them when she has no reference point for the material. We know this is purely a function of her age and aren't worried about it. (Especially since she is accepting the challenge and rarely getting frustrated by it. )

She is also more focused and working more during homeschool time! Her attitude is improved and she is willing to do more than she was before.

It is so nice to have a good placement for her. Keeping our fingers crossed that it continues.

That's brilliant - wonderful to hear such a positive story! Well done your DD and her advocates :-)

Well, we got a month out of the new experience before we hit the wall. No, it did not come from anyone at school, it came from DD herself. DD had a meltdown in the parking lot of KFC almost 2 weeks ago now. The reason? "I'm overwhelmed with what I can do. 9 yr olds aren't supposed to be able to do all that I can. I wish I could give my friends my brain for a little while just so that they'd understand me."
When questioned about it I discovered that since she is now in 6th grade and not putting any more effort into her work (and still getting As) than before the big skip she is beginning to realize just how much smarter she is than most other kids. She was really thinking that she would finally be challenged and she isn't. She also is seeing other 6th graders who are struggling and she is having a hard time understanding how they are having such a hard time with stuff that she has known for a long time.
We will meet with the teachers next week and try and come up with some sort of a plan for her.
We knew this would happen, but we were hoping that it wasn't going to happen quite so quickly. It just really makes DH and I face the fact that we really do need to find other solutions for DD's education.

Kerry, that's hard. All that self-awareness that's a problem now is going to be an asset down the road, though. I hope you find a good solution.

DeeDee

Kerry, it is hard, but it's possible that it really will be ok, perhaps with a little tweaking. It is an enormous thing that she is realizing, but after all, that was 2 weeks ago. How have things been since then?

Keep us posted!
Grinity

Since her meltdown, DD has been happy to go to school, has no longer expressed being overwhelmed. We have given her some challenges/goals outside of school for her to try and reach to see if she can focus on other things rather than academics.
We are working on perseverance in her effort with tae kwondo and practicing to increase her stamina and strength. Since this is the first thing she has really liked for physical activity, we will reward her with either a fish or turtle or hermit crab if she can show constant improvement and effort toward her next 3 belts. (She saw some kids demonstrate some of the stuff they learn in black belt classes and she wants to be able to do that now, so there is also an intrinsic motivation now.)
I think as she has adjusted to her new understanding of who she is, she is actually accepting it more. She has also started to realize that her little sister is gifted too and she seems to like the idea that she isn't "the only one" in the family.

I sometimes think that my administrators have been replaced by aliens - and I mean this in the best possible way.

I was having a conversation with my head of school yesterday (the equivalent of the superintendent since we're a one school school district) and DD9 and her academic needs for next year came up. The details of the conversation were amazing! Right now DD is enjoying 6th grade part time at school, but is still not challenged, and is really ready for 8th grade classes next year for most courses. My head of school started speculating about possible scenarios that would work for her - it was amazing how flexible she was being in her ideas. At one point she even said "we can figure out a way to make this work for her because I mean, she's out of the box already, why even worry about a box?" I am sure that my jaw dropped to the ground at that point. She is willing to have her enrolled in all sorts of different grade level classes, even if it means she is sitting in high school classes and 7th grade classes in the same day.

After I was done talking with her about work stuff, I was walking down the hall and ran into the middle school principal and he was asking how DD was doing. He then went on to say that he is so happy that this year is working out for DD and that every time he sees her she is happy and with friends. He did an observation in her English class and if he hadn't known she was younger he wouldn't have even noticed her as being different from the others in the class.

What he said next was the jaw dropper of this conversation:
"I am so glad that we tried this because she has made us as a school look at education in a different way and really take a look at what we hold as being true for education for gifted kids, and meeting their needs. I am sorry that we are actually failing her because we are still not challenging her, but I am so glad that we have started down this path to try and find a fit for her. You have no idea how nervous we were about allowing her to enter 6th grade and how she has really changed the outlook of people involved about what is possible."

I do not know exactly who he was talking about, but I have a pretty good idea. I think it is great that DD is making people rethink their long held beliefs about what "free and appropriate education" really means. I am hopeful that this will mean that others will have an easier time trying to do things like we did when it is appropriate.

I will let you all know more as we figure out next year, but wanted you to hear that DD has really made a difference here, and is doing it by simply being her silly, lovable self.

Very encouraging! Thanks for sharing.

Wow! I wish those aliens would invade more schools:) I'm so happy for you and your DD.

I'm so glad to hear you and your DD are getting results!
And I hope it does help the next kids.

However, as you noted, apparently the administration
realized they might otherwise lose a valuable asset
(you, the physics teacher), so I think it's more likely
that they just wized up and realized it was in their
own self-interest to help you. Never underestimate
the power of people acting in their own self-interest!
Now if I could just find a way for people to think
it was in their self-interest to help our DD...
but that's more along the lines of selflessness...
so probably would take real aliens to do that

I'm really happy for you and your DD--I hope it keeps working!

They had a choice to look for the bad or the good and they are looking for the good. That is so wonderful! I hope she paves the way for other kids who need similar interventions.

I can so sympathise with you... I found this quote the other day and thought it might be helpful...

"gifted kids have what Debrowski called an "intellectual supersensitivity" in the 1950's. Basically, this means that gifted kids crave, and need intellectual stimulation like they need food, water and sleep. If they don't get it, they become behavior problems, failures to achieve, delinquent or sick (depressed, anxious, etc.)"

I thought this was quite good for teachers who just don't get it ! ... to help explain how these wee minds work.

Thanks for sharing that wonderful story....wow! I'm glad the meltdown was a little pause in the upward trend and that little sister is a good consolation. I hope this means that there will support for little sisters needs as well.

That sounds great Imp - I hope it works out for your DD too.