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My Mom was extremely creative at explaining away the inconsistencies in the Santa theory.

BUT...

In 3rd grade the music teacher at my school asked a mixed class of 3rd and 4th graders "Who still believes in Santa Claus?" I started to put my hand up, but considered the implications of that question as I did. Then I put my hand back down.

I do remember reasoning that in case Santa didn't exist, when I had a child of my own I would put presents under the tree for them "from Santa" for their first Christmas. Then I'd know the truth for future years based on whether there were presents under the tree that I didn't put there.

I got asked the question last week from DS4 and despite a bit of hedging and asking what he thought he kept saying "but is Santa really real. Tell me mum". So in the end I said no he is not but explained that lots of kids believe he is and if we join in and pretend he is there will be more presents under the tree. He was happy with that. This week he is talking about putting carrots out for the reindeer so the magic lives on...(phew)

This time of year always makes me a little sad, to hear so many don't believe in the magic of the world. There ARE so many things science cannot explain and, in a humanistic sense, I believe science itself is magic. Life is magic to me. So I believe in ALL KINDS of "magic" and encourage my children to do the same. Now, plants don't grow by magic, they use choloropyhll...but there ARE magic people and I wish other people who don't believe, would keep it to themselves and not tell MY kids, lol!

DD8 and DD4.5 know ALL about Santa. The Elf on the Shelf comes to visit us...we watch The Polar Express a bunch of times...We also echo the "mall Santa is a helper" philosophy. As the holidays approach, I point out white bearded men and tell my kids that might be the REAL Santa, in disguise, out getting toy ideas. Target and other stores have the same things as Santa because sometimes Santa contracts with the original manufacturer, like generic cereals come from the same factory...Santa doesn't ALWAYS bring EVERYTHING you ask for, moms and dads talk to Santa and ask if it's ok to bring you expensive or living things, like puppies. In our house, Santa only brings one gift per child, it's not wrapped (so no matching paper problem). Santa tends to bring something they REALLY want (and asked him for) that is not overly extravagant but something maybe I've said no to a dozen times when asked previously. Santa and parents together decide what you really need, not just want...hth epoh

I think it really comes down to a question of whether you believe in magic or not. I have no problem admitting I do. My kids do too. Butter is waiting for that Hogwarts letter, they build fairy houses outside at every opportunity and wouldn't DREAM of touching the elf. They also believe (but are not scared of) witches, werewolves, vampires, zombies, etc...I think a fantasy life and magic are just as important as other things we fill our children with, that their creativity and imaginations need nurturing too...

Oh and of course, Santa's workshop, etc are all hidden from view by a cloaking device type thing, which only had to happen fairly recently, with planes and all.

DD has seemed to know that Santa is a fiction since about 5, but prefers to still pretend. I know this because for a while she was begging me to tell her the truth, and when I finally caved and said "Okay, do you REALLY want to know? He..." she hastily cut me off and said "Okay, okay, don't tell me after all."

My mom believes in ghosts, and demons, and angels, and just about anything else you can think of (UFOs). As a child, I also believed; and for me, it WAS scary. I appreciate the magic of Christmas, but I don't see a benefit to pretending fake scary things actually exist. I certainly would have preferred to grow up more founded in reality.

Also, when my bipolar sister began cutting herself as a teenager she told my mother that a demon cut her in her sleep. My mom believed her, and thus my sister didn't get the help she needed as early as she should have.

Yeah, I don't see a happy fantasy life and a grounding in reality as in conflict with each other. The whole point of fantasy life is that it's fantasy. If you really believe it, it's not fantasy, is it? It's your reality.

We've always been quick to help DD sort out what's real and what isn't, with the only exceptions being Santa and the Tooth Fairy (and the latter officially ended last night), and honestly, I think it removes a TON of anxiety on her part. Yet despite having known for years that there's no such thing as magic, she still loves Harry Potter (and made a darling Hermione Granger on Halloween).

Last night her imagination was on a roll, as she proposed a "realer" (a machine that takes in fake things and makes them real) and having a "future brain" (sees the future) within about 10 minutes of each other.

So yeah, the fantasy realm is alive and well in her brain. DD is also happy to entertain the ideas of werewolves, vampires, and zombies, but there's no reason to even suspect there's any fear involved, because she knows full well they're all imaginary.

Part of the problem in life is being able to figure out which real scary things exist and which fake scary things don't exist.

My oldest did not go for the idea of Santa and soon started writing letters to the tooth fairy, "Dear Toothfairy (Mom) please can I keep my tooth." It was difficult as a mom with other parents whose kids were all into it. My kiddo has always been the logical one. She would state all the reasons why there could not be a Santa. Parents were mean about it and expected my youngster to be silent. I did not. I am not sure how you bridge that gap but logical kids have the right to their opinion. She had quite the slew of imaginary friends, but never believed them to be real. I also do not equate the belief or non-belief in Santa or the toothfairy with the scope of imagination. I do subscribe to honesty with my kid and securing her trust that I answer her questions honestly. As far as I can tell it has paid off for the big questions of middle school, which I still answer honestly. She brings them to me. Those are life and death kind of answers that she needs the correct information, not what her peers tell her, and they tell her some pretty off the wall incorrect stuff!

When DD had a friend say she didn't believe in Santa I made sure she knew that *I* do believe in him. Of course there had to be a bit of logic worked into the story. I explained his complicated delivery system (a series of chutes running through the center of the earth with distribution points all over the world. The elves have to make sure all the chutes are filled with toys and gifts - this is even more important than making the toys because if necessary Santa can buy them in stores) and the mechanism that makes it look like Santa's Village is just covered by a sheet of ice in case any spy planes come looking for it. DH and I have told her that we think Santa and Mrs. Clause have the best jobs in the world and I REALLY wish I could have Mrs. Clause's job - baking cookies and just trying to make people happy. What could be better than that? When we saw "Santa's Reindeer" at a winter amusement park a couple of days after Christmas we explained that they were there on vacation recuperating from Christmas. They only had a couple of weeks off, though, and then they all have to head back to the North Pole to get started on next year. "It takes most of the year for the elves to fill those chutes you know."

Anyway, DD has a great imagination so I may never know if/when she stops believing because I am sure she will continue to play along, just as we play along with her. When she recently found a bag with tiny teeth and a couple of gold coins she asked DH if they were her teeth. Without missing a beat DH said "They can't be yours - the Tooth Fairy took yours." I thought that was the end of all of this fun but nope - she happily put her next tooth on her bedside table for the Tooth Fairy. Maybe it was that gold pixie dust sprinkled all over that convinced her the Tooth Fairy really came...

Oh - and she decided this summer that DH must secretly work for the Easter Bunny. Not sure how she came to that conclusion but we are playing along. This age doesn't last forever and once the magic is gone it will be gone for good. I want her - and us - to enjoy it as long as possible.

I think too that it really depends on the kind of kid you have as to how and when you tell. My dd is very rational and logical. She likes the idea of magic, but she's said since she was 3 that she doesn't believe in it. She told me at 4 she didn't believe in the tooth fairy after her second tooth fell out and demanded I let her know who it was. She's seemed doubtful about Santa for the last couple of years, but she's tentatively going along with it for now. Every now and again she lets slip about what my husband or I might be getting her for Christmas when in the past all her presents have come from Santa (which is what happened in both my husband's family and my own - wish I'd known about this one gift from Santa thing!) When dd asks outright about Santa, I will tell her.

If I had a different kind of kid, one who loved that kind of deep fantasy stuff, I'd happily play along for as long as they seemed to want it. In our case I think dd's too excited about the how facinating (and 'magical') the 'real' world is. We've talked about the fact that other kids her age do believe in the tooth fairy and she is very sensitive to that (and seems to understand that adults like to think she believes in the tooth fairy too). As an early and liberal shedder of teeth I've watched her play along with the whole tooth fairy thing many times.

Flower I love 'Dear Toothfairy (Mom)...' - hilarious! I completely agree with you that not believing has anything to do with imagination. Dd has an extraordinary imagination - she just knows it's, well, imaginary.