Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What to do with a 5yo choosing to underacheive

Ahh the joys of underachievement�

At the start of this term my nearly 6yo dd was skipped to grade 1. Her teacher is happy with her work, which she felt was now at grade level (which for a kid who reads 6+ years beyond grade level and is teaching herself 4th grade maths at home, is another issue in itself), but said she felt dd�s writing was below grade level.

Her teacher has given her homework of writing something every weekend as practice because the kids in her class are writing a full page and dd was only writing a couple of sentences in class. At first, for her homework, she was asked to write about her weekend and dd really, really struggled. As a result I initially thought the teacher must be right. It surprised me because dd has a wonderful ability to tell stories, many of which I had copied down for her. What soon became apparent though was that the issue is not that she can�t write, she was just confounded by the idea that anyone would want her to write about anything quite so mundane as what happened on her weekend (or whatever other topic they were doing in class).

(I explained this to the teacher who completely missed the point and told dd she wanted to hear about what dd 'had on her pancakes for breakfast and so on�. You could see from dd's expression she was thinking 'really??')

In the end I got a couple of books about writing, how to structure a narrative and so on. For her homework task I told her to write a story rather than about her weekend. She wrote three pages of a very funny and creative story. She's done the same thing every week since (though not with much enthusiasm). The kid can write fine.

This weekend she had to do a class related piece of writing relating to a set of games she had brought home, which she had been playing since she was very small. She was so bored she got stuck after 2 sentences. I told her if she wrote two more sentences she could stop. She agreed and brought her finished work to me with a look of glee. She had written "My mum won the first game. I won the second game." I just looked at her (we have a look in our family for a humorous "really??") She just raised an eyebrow, smiled and said "well, you said two more sentences" and we all burst out laughing (including dd). It was hilarious and dd knew we had her pinned. I explained to her that the school thinks she can�t write terribly well and pointed out if this was what she was doing at school they didn�t have much evidence of what she is capable of. That obviously hadn�t occurred to her and she went back and made some changes which made it much better.

We�re having problems too with her maths, in which she is doing the bare minimum. I suspect she�s doing it across the board. When I had a meeting with the teacher and one of the school�s Vice Principals they told me they could see no reason to do more (the teacher had been forgetting to read dd�s homework stories).

I just have no idea what to do with her. She is already 2 years younger than most of her class mates. We�re hoping for some better luck next year because she will be in a smaller class with a cohort of gifted kids. But she is SUCH a fly under the radar kid I know all the cajoling in the world is unlikely to get her to produce work to the level she can. All the talking to teachers in the world is unlikely to convince the already unconvinced that she is capable of more. She�s not really motivated by grades and the like and yet none of the work is interesting her enough to become intrinsically motivated (she�s not a kid who is passionate about specific topics either � well, other than Harry Potter). She�s been tested >99.9 % and they have her test results. They�re meant to be experienced with gifted kids.

DD is saying she is bored and I wanting to know why she has to go to school. The first time I said "to learn", to which se replied that she never learns a thing. Problem is, with a few exceptions, I believe her. What does one do??

We�re looking at achievement testing, but it�s apparently not widely used here and so I�m not hopeful it will make much difference. We've already moved schools too, so I am conscious of just uprooting her again. Wishing it were easier...

Hmm. My DD is in second, and her teacher (IMO) is expecting a lot in terms of writing assignments, but she has also struggled with them. It's not because she can't write quite beautifully, but because having to work with a structure and a set topic not of her choosing is new to her. I wouldn't necessarily put the writing issues down to lack of challenge or whatever, but perhaps instead to lack of familiarity with writing assignments per se. After all, writing is a subject that extends beautifully, commensurate to ability. I would say that she may need more time and that some of this is becoming familiar with the school's expectations, regardless of actual writing ability.

FWIW, writing a full page in first seems like a high expectation to me.

Are the weekend writing homeworks just for her or are all the students doing that? Honestly, my ds is in 2nd and I don't remember him ever being asked to write a full page in 1st. But maybe that is just a statement on what's wrong with HIS school!

If the writing is just for her maybe you could get the teacher to be more flexible in the topics? And to make it more interesting for your daughter, maybe you could teach her about different kinds of writing. So, for example, you could pick a subject, "breakfast" as in your example. But then each assignment could be a different take: write a narrative (describe what you ate), write a persuasive paper (make an argument for or against eating breakfast), write an informative paper (why do we call it breakfast, what do people in other culture's eat for breakfast?), write a realistic story, write a humorous story, write a fantastical story...etc.

Idk, that seems like it would be more interesting and fun. Just an idea.

So this all very funny to me...except my DD is 8, hasn't been skipped, isn't fly under the radar and does better with the personal writing than the made up stuff. We literally had an occasion at her former school where she wrote EXACTLY the minimum 5 required sentances to make a story. The teacher was pleased and, thinking to encourage her, asked for 5 more sentances using adjectives. So the parent volunteer suggests she describe the snowy scene the story was set in. Butter looks at her with disdain and said "Everyone KNOWS snow is COLD." hahahahaha!

fwiw-the IQ/acheivement tests in our case indidcate depressed processing speed, lowered working memory and a coding issue that, combined, point to a fine motor issue and, combined with her perfectionism and high school graduate reading level, make it hard for her to accept the lower expectations of a regular 3rd grade classroom. Then she gets all anxious about her own ability to produce work. When she finally writes, it's 10th grade level *sigh*

I don't know what to tell you as far as her school goes, but we are currently doing "home study". It's like homeschool, but we have a campus and they give us the books, pacing, etc...my point being that, the more unusual your child is, the more unlikely a standard solution is going to work and if the school isn't going to listen to you, you might want to look for one that does...

I hope that helps

Thanks for the replies - ultramarina - yes, I absolutely agree that being able to write a story is one thing, being able to adapt that skill to other things is another matter. I can completely see where you're coming from. However, what I had meant with the example is that it was immediately apparent in that moment of the "two sentences" that dd knew exactly what she was doing and that surprised me at 5. I had been suspicious this was happening for a couple of weeks, but hadn�t been sure (because I'd been in the 'her writing isn't at grade level' zone).

I'm not really fussed about it on a certain level - I'm not fussed if she's a doctor or a gardener or a mechanic or a circus performer if she's doing what she wants to do. If she were focusing her abilities on a particular area I would be less concerned - she doesn't love writing for now, but she can do it well enough for what she needs it for. But it�s not just her writing - she appears to be doing it across the board.

LNE � She is the only one doing the homework. I just changed it off my own bat and let the teacher know (I knew she would be ok with it as she had just wanted dd writing). We�ve got a whole list of topics dd can choose from (including persuasive writing etc), but dd enjoys telling stories most � she wants to be a comedian when she grows up (at the moment) and stories give her a chance to be funny in a way she isn�t in class (because she rarely speaks). So I think she�s enjoyed that aspect of it too. I suspect once the mechanics of writing are less difficult she will enjoy creative writing quite a lot. I do like the idea of taking something every day and thinking about how it could be made interesting though � that could be a good tool for when she�s stuck for an idea in class.




2gifts2girls, what a great response from your dd � that is much how dd feels.

DD also worries about what she produces. This was never an issue before she started school, but the school has a cohort of very high achieving kids, many of whom are extensively tutored. Dd did the SBV, so I don�t know whether she has comparatively slow processing speed or not, but I suspect she does and that causes her to lose confidence when everyone else can answer quickly by rote.

Home schooling (even if it is using a home study program) isn�t an option for us for a number of reasons.


Ultimately I guess I�m worried about it because she is doing exactly what I did as a kid. The results in my case were not great (they weren�t disastrous either, but I wasted a lot of time being extraordinarily bored and not terribly productive). I know that feeling of �just getting it done� so well � and it�s so easy to do well enough with very little thought. But ultimately SO unsatisfying. Anyway. I�m probably just doing a little too much projecting!

Is your dd against the structured, teacher-driven work? Perhaps she resists the practice and drill and kill approach? It sounds like your dd responded to your efforts to have her write something that motivated her and she was invested in. It also sounds like it's more a eg/pg, control, and motivation issues than anything else.

From what you're saying, your dd prefers to self-direct her learning. I would say try letting her getting bored for a bit and see if she re-directs herself to doing the math or talking to the teacher about making her feel more in control over assignments and work. I have to say that she sounds like my son.

We've been (and still am) in a similar situation with our ds who is in kindy and turned 6 years old this month. My son's in his second gifted school due to it; last year he whizzed through the pre-k/k/1st grade curriculum within 2 1/2 months and now refuses to do his 3rd grade math or much of any math. He's doing the minimum with writing though I think this second gifted school doesn't push the kindergarten kids on writing or much on the math either. My son isn't a kid who's passionate about any particular subject or topic either yet. Yes, we have the perfectionist and anxiety issues too. Sigh.

We've been holding off on homeschooling too, but am wondering what to do as well. At the moment, I cannot imagine homeschooling someone so stubborn and unwilling at times, though on the other hand I don't know how much he can continue to not make academic progress at a gifted school.

Have you applied for the Davidson Young Scholar program yet? I haven't yet, but another mother suggested to apply and eventually consider homeschooling.

I would perhaps speak to your dd teachers and school about acceleration and grade-skipping and see if that gets you any results.

I don't know whether other schools will allow this . . .

DS7 in 1st grade was so far ahead in math that they allow him to do math on the computer using a self-paced program called successmaker. (He still has to do the 1st grade homework and take the 1st grade tests). Perhaps a little self-paced work at her level would do the trick? I know how hard it is to get your mind around skipping into a grade where the child is 3 years younger than her peers.

Wow do I identify with this. Montessori has been a good fit so far for my dd11 (she is not in the 99.9%), but we will see what happens when she moves on to a new school. Interested in reading the other responses.