Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion New here... Sort of :)

I am finally writing instead of lurking, as I have been for the past year or so. My ds9 is the obvious gifted chid and my dd7 is the come out of the woods and showing a completely different type of gifted. My ds presented gifted from almost the instant he was born- you may laugh but the first time he was put on my chest he lifted his headvup( by himself) and stared me in the eye as if to say- Are you ready for me? Are you sure about that? Was early for every physical milestone and was speaking in full sentences by 18 months- which started some weird peer moments with other Mom's which I am sure you can relate to. By 4 he was discussing his hypothesis about things in the car and bypassed the question why for how way to quickly....school----he is a behavior challenge and does not always preform to his capability. We had some health issues when my ds was diagnosed with PANDAS syndrome in march 2009. He had varying symptoms from PANDAS that completely disrupted- really halted our lives with one of them being literally losing a whole year of math knowledge( yes he literally did not know them anymore). Since he was the youngest in his grade we repeated him in 2nd grade to let his brain recover and we did not know the severity of the illness and how long it was going to take to heal. We also switched schools- I could have an entire post on the HORRIBLE principal at the old school. The new school had another child with PANDAS and handled it beautifully. We were welcomed with open arms. Last year he healed and reagained his knowledge that he had lost(very traumatic) and kept going. He had not tested for the gifted program previously because we were in the middle of hell- even though I knew he would eventually belong there. I decided not to push it but the teachers asked for him to be tested- he passed and is now in the gifted program. Socially he is. In the right grade- so many people in Texas red shirt that he was so young compared to his peers previosuly that he does better with friends in this grade- EXCEPT now his brain is back and turbo charged. He tests way way way above grade level on just about everything on his MAP tests. He has an 11th grade reading level( and clocks about 700-1000 minutes a week- we have to keep track for school) , tests in the 87% for 10th graders for scientific concepts, math- did not test to his true level( I have him in an extracurricular math class when he is doing advanced work) but still is at 99% for his grade. I am so cautious because when I tell you we went through HE'LL- it was bad. He is not starting to be a behavior issue in school and it is clear that the teacher- evenvthough gifted certified does not knownhow to go outside her specific gifted box on how to challenge him. At the last conference she told me That the advanced kids will be starting a novel study- on a book he read 2 1/2 years ago. Not sure how that is going to work. I don't regret my decision to hold back because he was so sick and we did not know what his brain was going to be like when he recovered. I am also pretty clear that even 4th grade would not cover most of his needs. I do have to say he is AWFUL at spelling and finds it useless- so he is at a 3rd grade level there. Reading, math , science, history- I could see him doing what was put in front of him. Homeschooling is not an option. So I have a turbo charged brain back again and trying to figure out how to keep him challenged- even though he is LAZY when it come to doing the work. He moves so fast that he makes carelss mistakes and needs to learn to respect everyone- especially teachers- he quickly identifies if someone is not as smart as him and well.... Loses respect- even if they are more educated. He is my loophole King and uses technically, specifically and precisely to make his points why his way is correct- religiously. We call him our little lawyer. I know You will relate( hopefully not to the being sick part) but now that I am not holding my breathe about his health- see his brain functioning the way it used to I am trying to figure out what is next!
I apologize for typos- I am on my iPad and editing is challenging. Above it says he is Not starting to be a behavior prob- he IS and I can't figure how to get the box to move up to edited it
Glad to be "out" and no longer a lurker, your posts have been a great help- especially book suggestions- he blows though so many that I am very challenged with finding appropriate books at his level and I like to read for myself too- not just screening for him!!
I look forward to getting to know everyone!
Brandy[

Welcome Brandy!
Thanks for delurking. Keep after the school to place hime with kids who score similar on each MAP test...wherever that happens to be. Don't worry about the future..focus on.getting him with some apples (MAP coscorers) to learn with.

As for behavior I love the book 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' let me know if you have and questions rolling. It out.

Love and more love
Grinity

I type on the iPhone and it took me a while to realize if you tap a word to select it and pull the select box upwards it works like a scroll. It took me even longer to realize if I typed in my notepad i had more room to work with than the little answer box in the forums.

How frightening it must be for your child, for you to have watched that happening. I have a thought about the respect. I always tell my kid "don't be rude". I hope it will work. You can almost divide respect into "to admire" and "to be polite to."

Mine was born able to control his own head, neck, and eyes too. He focused on the face of whoever was holding and talking to him in the birthing room. My daughter, too, came out very different. She was more of a navel-gazer, more interested in figuring out herself before checking out all the action. I wondered while I was pregnant if he was smarter than normal or not, thinking if he was it would change his parenting needs. I think you and I will have to look after the kiddo's education ourselves, using the schools as long as they make the kids HAPPY, not every day, of course. A good rule of thumb is, are you here to help or are you here to hinder me? If you're only here to hinder me then what do I need you in my life for. These are just thoughts. My kid doesn't start school until next year.

Hi Brandy and welcome to the forum. I am glad your son has healed - how awful that must have been!

You did not say what part of Texas you live in.

Texas public schools do a very poor job of educating PG kids when they are young. And the more rural, the worse it gets. Most "gifted programs" start several years too late and are focused on the Kumon kids and the moderately gifted. There are a handful of programs that serve the MG to PG kids, but these are limited to working two grades ahead but run out of steam by 5th grade. ( I think a lot of the kids in these programs are highly prepped and not natively PG, either.) Other GT programs are highly rated, but I see very few National Merit Finalists from those schools so I wonder how many PG kids are in them.

Some privates that offer X-12 under one roof do subject accelerate PG kids and offer independent study after they exhaust the resources and then the kids go to college during part of the school day. This allows them the ability to spend time with their age peers for some things and time to spend with their intellectual peers for others. But even then privates will have just 1 or 2 PG kids for every 4 grades.

We are pretty much set on the private school route given that the precedent already exists in all of them to accelerate kids who need it.

Our son, Mr W (3y10m), was beginning to show behavior issues a few months ago in primary at a Montessori school. We moved him into an academic PreK with kids 12-18 months older than he. He is still beyond his classmates in most areas, but at least he is getting new material weekly and his classmates are much more verbal, so he can play with them. The teachers give him first grade material in math and reading and due to the age difference, he has to work a bit sometimes to stay ahead. His handwriting has really taken off the last few weeks and he can now spell tons of words.

The problems your son is facing are not new to his type. I was 3+ accelerated in private school before ending up in public in 2d grade. We moved around a bit and I was skipped from 1-3 grades in some school and none at all in others. I retreated into my own world and pretty much taught myself. My time from age 9 to age 14 was basically wasted from a formal academic perspective. I lost respect for my teachers and school in general when I was 7 and I did not gain it back until I ended up in an HS AP/Honors program with some very bright kids and teachers who had advanced degrees. Sports and scouting kept me connected to my age peers. These and a few highly intelligent adults along the way kept me from completely disengaging. When I entered HS and got a nearly perfect score on a national test was when I finally got some support.

Your son will learn respect for adults and his peers when he gets into a competitive program that matches his abilities and when he finds extracurricular programs with kids like him. I know I did. Right now he just gets criticism and in his mind he cannot distinguish between good and bad criticism. Coupled with learning respect and learning to view criticism properly, he will learn to correct and check his work as well as value others.

Unless the public school will radically grade skip him, he will not run into something that is hard for him for many years.

You can go the private school route. Not sure if you have considered this. Most top privates have a strong financial aid program that allows for middle and lower income families to get their kids a phenomenal education. Most have an application deadline in December and many have a large number of openings during the 5th grade year which will be your son's next grade. If you live in an area with a great private, I highly, highly recommend you attempt to go this route.

This leaves extracurricular programs that have a highly intelligent adult component to them. They can serve as a bridge until he gets strongly challenged.

Area clubs like robotics, astronomy, mathematics, botany, and computers are very good. I joined some of these when I was between 10 and 12 and really enjoyed them. It did not take the adults long to accept me and I felt respected. He really needs to have a deep interest in the subject though and you need the means to make sure he can attend on a consistent, regular basis. I really liked the Boy Scouts, too.

If you live in the DFW area, I can send you a PM on what we have found out about the public and private schools in the area. I also know a bit about the situation in Houston, too.

Thanks so much for your feedback. We live in west Plano and ds will actually be in 4th next year. I graduated from Ursuline and attended ESD from 7-8th so I know a fair bit about Dallas privates. Main problem is I work in Irving- logistics are tough. I have always thought St marks would be good but until we got his health straightened out- I didn't know what we were dealing with. A year healed, I can start to think about more than just his health. I have been watching Yorktown out in Plano and very interested in what the do and they say they are opening an elementary- then it would be truly at his pace. He loves Scouts but our troop has done all their activities right after school so far this year- not really workable. The last camping trip I was in China and my husband had just started a new job so we had to pass. The kids go to Plano Day School after school where they get their accelerated math classes. He will most likely qualify for math rocks but that is only one class with acceleration. I don't even know where to start with the school to get the right curriculum for him. I would love to hear more about your private school opinions- especially if you are dealing with it now! I would live to know more about those clubs too.
Brandy

We are just down the road from you near Castle Hills. Yorktown looks interesting. We'll check it out. And 9K is less than what we pay now for Mr W in his current school where he is accelerated. Its very similar to Plano Day School but much more structured.