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    sydness #112009 09/18/11 03:45 PM
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    JOnLaw...this is why I started this thread with "I think I made a mistake." I'm too scared to face her now!.

    I never believed...not for a moment. So I don't know what it is like. Santa was just a non-issue in our life growing up...and my husband's as well. I guess I might just tell them both..the little one doens't seem to believe though, so I might spare her the eventual...truth...thanx...I don't know.

    sydness #112010 09/18/11 03:45 PM
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    I would really encourage you to get Rosalind Wiseman's book Queen Bees and Wannabes. While your dd is only 9, mean girl behaviour can emerge as early as pre-school, and imo the book can be really helpful in identifying it and giving a girl tools to deal with it. I also think it is appropriate to talk proactively about the marketing directed at young girls and why her friends are buying into what is "cool" and what your family values are in this realm. If you just google tween marketing you will come up with some stuff that applies. Sorry your dd is dealing with it. My dd10 still plays with her AG dolls even though most of her friends do not and has not yet asked about Santa, but I think this is the year it is time to tell her. Good luck.

    sydness #112012 09/18/11 04:20 PM
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    Originally Posted by sydness
    JOnLaw...this is why I started this thread with "I think I made a mistake." I'm too scared to face her now!.

    I never believed...not for a moment. So I don't know what it is like. Santa was just a non-issue in our life growing up...and my husband's as well. I guess I might just tell them both..the little one doens't seem to believe though, so I might spare her the eventual...truth...thanx...I don't know.

    I would just stick with telling the older one and deal with the fallout. Although you could wait until closer to Christmas. You can always solve the problem of the little one later.

    She's going to find out eventually, if she doesn't really know now, so it's going to be a moot point.

    sydness #112014 09/18/11 04:45 PM
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    Here is a link re: tween marketing and what parents should be aware of with links to lots of other articles.
    http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/parents/marketing/issues_teens_marketing.cfm

    sydness #112131 09/20/11 10:46 AM
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    I am a serious knitter so that jumped out at me. She can probably learn better online. Try knittinghelp.com there are tons of videos and it is better imo than a class for gifties since we learn so fast.

    sydness #112141 09/20/11 12:00 PM
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    Santa came to our house until I went to college - you might get presents from grandparents or aunts / uncles, but parents didn't give Christmas presents.

    I think my DD chooses to believe, because she thinks she'll get more stuff that way. She's said specifically that she does not want to have any conversations about Santa beyond "I'm going to ask Santa for X this year" and me responding whether that's a reasonable thing to ask for or not.

    JonLaw #112162 09/20/11 05:46 PM
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    Originally Posted by JonLaw
    I would just stick with telling the older one and deal with the fallout. Although you could wait until closer to Christmas. You can always solve the problem of the little one later. She's going to find out eventually, if she doesn't really know now, so it's going to be a moot point.

    If your DD is not asking specifically if Santa exists and already has her own beliefs justified, is it really best to ruin the magic of Christmas at the age of 9? When she is ready to know the truth, she will ask the questions. If she still believes wholeheartedly in Santa, I say squeeze one more year of Christmas magic out of her and enjoy the heck out of it!

    In our house, Santa stops coming to you when you stop believing in him. Then he lets your parents know and they start buying you stuff (and, of course, the stuff is not nearly as good). I remember still wondering when I was a teenager. I LOVE that no one actually came out and told me that the truth. I would have been devastated to hear it at that age.

    This is one of those sticky parenting topics that has no right or wrong answer. You know your child best. What would be more upsetting to her at the age of 9... ribbing from some aquaintances about something she strongly believes or being told the truth when she doesn't want to hear it?


    Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. — L.M. Montgomery
    sydness #112169 09/20/11 07:56 PM
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    Last edited by lmp; 03/28/12 08:51 AM.
    JonLaw #112268 09/22/11 08:13 AM
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    JonLaw, your reply..."I remember trying to figure out how somebody could travel at a speed that would basically have to travel faster than the speed of light to accomplish the Santa task..." cracked me up! That is SO my DD6. She figured it all out at age 4 (and has always questioned God's existence too) and came to me and asked me flat out if he was real. When I looked into her trusting eyes I just couldn't lie to her. She was SO RELIEVED and she said, "Mom, I knew all along...I mean REALLY?!? FLYING REINDEER?!? (and on and on)..." haha The whole Santa thing is kind of creepy to me anyways...Asking small children to sit on a strange guys lap...Lol Now I'm just worried about her spilling the beans in 1st grade...

    sydness #112273 09/22/11 09:07 AM
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    What we tell our kids is: You have to believe to receive.

    That means, once you know "the secret", you have to play along for the younger ones.

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