Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Never had to work at it....

I was sitting in my daughter's class yesterday, helping with reading when it became apparent just how much effort these kids were putting in to their learning. Each one of the struggled at some point with their readers and every one of them kept on trying, happily asking for help if they were really stumped.

I don't know why their effort was so apparent to me yesterday - I help out with reading every week, but I was just blown away. It occurred to me that dd has NEVER had to work like these kids were. Even the things dd finds 'difficult' are not really for her, they just require her to actually think about them, which she finds disconcerting. I know she's a perfectionist and I had thought we'd done a lot to move her past that (an effort used to be an issue), but watching these kids I realised she could never do what they were doing (really, really trying) without a complete melt down. And they were so proud of themselves for getting through their work.

Currently dd is in K, not skipped (we reversed a failed skip that occurred earlier in the year due to a lack of support at a different school). We've now got the teacher on the same page re trying to find her level, but with a reading level 6+ grades above her peers and maths between 2-4+ grades above actually differentiating for her adequately might be a stretch. She's got some anxiety issues though, that we and they are working on, but once resolved, I feel an acceleration conversation coming on...

This is just an observation really, that obviously I couldn't share just anywhere!

Thanks

Your daughter sounds like my son! I remember being dumbfounded when hearing parents talk about how long EACH NIGHT their children studied for spelling tests. Most weeks my son tossed his list aside and never looked at it again, yet still finished the year with a 100 average. Piano is the only thing my son has to work on at all, and even then it's not hard for him, he just doesn't like practicing. Hopefully both our kids are able to pick up study habits by osmosis!

Unfortunately it's probably very common among the children of posters here.

You could be posting about my DD7. I often think, what she could do if she really learned to try, to work at something, persevere... I get so much satisfaction from working hard and I'm not afraid of a challenge. I often fear that she will just coast along and then hit a wall. At some point things will get hard and I worry that she won't be able to handle it. On the flip side she tries really hard socially. Trying to stay/appear calm and keep self control, this is where all of her energy goes.

As a gifted adult & parent of 3 gifted children I will give you my perspective. I did not have to try at my studies until perhaps my senior year in high school. And even then it wasn't very hard--mostly lack of planning on projects/papers. When I got to college, I had professors who gave out their syllabi and expected their students to keep up. I had never been taught study techniques; had never needed them. So almost everything got done at the last minute. That only works for so long & then the adrenaline runs out.
My kids have been much more challenged in their gifted classes than I ever was for which I am profoundly grateful. I try to make sure that they learn study habits. It is hard, though. They don't want to listen to Mom. DD14 is going into the Pre-IB/IB program which helps prepare kids for college.
So I guess I would say make sure you teach them good study techniques & the value of perseverance like annaliisa wrote. These are skills and qualities that will last a lifetime.