Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Trying to plan for next homeschool year

My 13 year old son is begging me to not enroll him in co-op classes even though he did so well in his writing composition class last year and even though his teacher allowed the accommodation (his iPhone) for typing his answers to the essay questions on the end of semester test. She also let me take notes for him in class so he could finish writing his in-class writing assignments. I was the parent volunteer for the class and had to be there anyway so the note-taking wasn't a problem for me.

He thinks a self-paced online class would be much easier because there would be no need for taking notes and it would be easier to keep his mind on the lesson. He said it was hard to pay attention for more than 15 minutes when the teacher went over grammar rules that he found boring. He already knew most of the grammar rules before taking the class and he had to turn in lots of grammar worksheets on these rules. He found it stressful trying to finish them all before the next weekly class. He also found it stressful trying to get to the class on time and he could tell I was stressed because as the parent volunteer it was important that I be there on time as well. The scoliosis brace pain that some kids are able to get used to but he never did along with his headaches made it hard for him to get ready quickly and to sit through the classes. He started hating Sundays because he had to go to class the next day. But he always finished his writing assignments before the next class and he wrote really good short stories and poems and essays and made a 98 for the class. I didn't know he could write that well. I didn't teach him how to write because I didn't know how to teach him and the dysgraphia made it more difficult before he learned to type well. He needed this class and I am glad he took it, but now I am wondering if would be better for both of us if he took all online classes next year.

We met a middle science teacher at an early 4th of July celebration that told us that in her opinion kids needed to learn in a class with other kids. One of her former students saw her talking to us and told us that she was the best teacher she ever had and that they did a lot of fun experiments. I started feeling bad, thinking that my son was maybe missing out on fun learning and that he wasn't learning as much as he should for science. I told her that we did most of our learning online and that I learned along with him and I didn't need to know everything in order for him to learn science because we had the internet, but as I was saying it I still felt unsure about my ability to make sure my son was learning everything he needed to know--until my husband started talking to her and her former student. My husband told the little girl that it was good to ask a lot of questions and to even question her teachers because there are new discoveries all the time and asking lots of questions and looking for answers is important. The teacher looked like she didn't like what he was telling the little girl. As an example he talked about the two new elements that were added to the periodic table. The teacher hadn't heard about them. My son quickly looked them up on his iPhone for her. My husband also talked about some of the science related shows we had watched together recently and some of the interesting things we learned. We told her that we read sciencedaily.com to try to keep up with the latest science news and we read about a new element from the iPad ap every night even though it is summer break. My son enjoys learning. He just doesn't feel like he needs to be with other kids in order to learn. But I still wonder if musical theater provides enough interaction with other kids. Is he missing something if he does all online classes this year? He is the only child at home.

If we do decide to do all online classes I think we might use studyisland.com for language arts and biology and U.S. history. The price is reasonable and the classes are aligned with state standards.

My son wants to learn Japanese with Rocket Japanese and is saving his money to buy it. It is expensive and I wonder if it is worth the money. My son watches a lot of Japanese anime and would like to learn the language. Has anyone else tried Rocket Japanese?

Doctors appointments and brace time and exercise is a lot easier to manage if my son does online classes, but it makes me sad when my son says our lives have almost a Twilight Zone quality. No matter how hard we try to make things better bad things beyond our control keep happening. We are still on call for taking care of my disabled mother any time my dad has to leave his house or needs help. My mother's disability is so severe that it would be hard to find a nursing home that could handle her yet my 70 something year old dad does the best he can and we are doing the best we can to support him in taking care of her. I feel like our executive function and time management skills are constantly being tested and it just keeps getting harder. There is no end in sight but I need to somehow focus on planning for next year.

On a more positive note my son got the part of Prince Dauntless (Once Upon a Mattress) in a month long 5 day a week musical theater camp. It starts in a few days and I think it will be a lot of fun for him. He also auditioned for a part in a feature film and they might use him as an extra.

I'm not against some online classes. They can certainly meet needs in particular academic subjects and they can be a big help for gifted kids who have need for acceleration. We used them in our homeschool and I've taken them myself as well. Some are of course much better than others, but there are some good options out there. You really need to look carefully that whatever you choose isn't just meeting state standards but is actually provides an appropriate level of challenge.

That said, I'm personally opposed to all online classes for a teenager for a number of reasons. First, I think it is simply not enough time around other people. Even if he's doing one other activity that is still a huge amount of time at home without new people who may encourage him to learn and grow. This becomes more and more important in the teenage years.

With an asynchronous child at home it can be really easy to get into a pattern of taking the easy route of allowing the child to grow in areas of strength but remain in a comfort zone of not stretching himself. The fact that you didn't realize he was such a strong writer before he took the class is a good example of that. Also, the fact that he worked himself up into so much stress over a single homeschool class for me is the best illustration that he must continue to have these opportunities. He stretched himself in ways that he wasn't going to at home and comfortable or not that is something he's going to need to do if he wants to be an independent adult. The next step would be taking a class without mom present. Anything you want him to be able to as an adult you really need to ask yourself right now what are the steps to getting there and bit by bit take those steps.

As he ultimately plans to go to college, I also think it is important for him to get regular practice on classroom skills such as participating in class discussing, handling disagreements, meeting deadlines, taking notes, asking his instructor for help, etc. Also, for him that's going to including handling fatigue and finding ways to adapt and work with his strengths. While some social skills can certainly also be practiced in an activity like theater there are some classroom skills that are specific to the classroom.

With the challenges he has, it is especially important that your son has opportunities to be successful. Clearly his intellect is a strength that he needs to be allowed to develop and doing so will contribute in positive ways to his self esteem. You've mentioned before it is difficult because your area heavily emphasizes stuff like football that doesn't fit with your son's interests and abilities. That's exactly why it is important for him to be in classes or groups where he can shine intellectually. Those may also lead to some other friendships or relationships with teachers/mentors that will be crucial to helping him avoid loneliness/depression in the teenage years.

http://www.livemocha.com/

My brother is studying several languages for fun. He recommends this site for any language. My dad recommends for any language to look at Skypping with those people who speak that language. Surely there's some Japanese that want an American "penpal" over Skyppe. Also, can you host a foreign exchange student where you live?

Thirteen is old enough to read college English textbooks for fun. But be careful about getting college credit early. I read online that if you're not careful you'll mess up your scholarship by getting ahead. Look it up because I'm not sure. If it is just be careful to call it eighth grade work. It could just be an Internet rumor.

Yeah, that's really isn't true. Lots of homeschoolers rack up quite a bit of college credit while in high school. The key is to maintain dual enrollment status (in both high school and college) rather than enrolling as a freshman. That allows the student to still enter college as a freshman in order to tap into the largest pool of scholarships.

I would not be at all worried about the student earning college credit, however, it sounds like Lori's son would have some stuff to work out with accommodations before he's at that point. That's part of why I'd suggest continuing with the homeschool or community based academics so he learns what he will need to be successful in college.

PtP, tks for sharing. Do you know a page that explains or could you explain what the scholarship issue is? Is it just that most scholarships are looking for freshmen and the freshman has to be eighteen?

About Lori's son I was just suggesting if he wants to use an old college English textbook, not timed and not in a class, just for fun, he might like it. When I was his age-ish I was introduced to "a screenwriter's workbook" by Syd Field. (not a textbook). It inspired two full milkcrates of loose-leaf notebook pages worth of writing. I just remembered. Ask for it from the library on inter-library loan. Hey, that even fits his acting bug!
Also, it really sounded like he liked his teacher and his class this year. Did you homeschool partially this last year?

Is this any different than those of us that teach solely at home without online classes?

Lori,

We found that online classes that had live components (such as mandatory twice-a-week live chat sessions with the teacher and other students) and that had frequent assignments with deadlines helped give my son good exposure to classroom interaction and to the kinds of organizational demands he will face later without making his need for accommodations obvious to the other students in the class. It was a good place for us to start. We'll certainly use classes with that kind of a format again as he moves through high school. But I think that it is also important for my son to have an opportunity to find out where his physical and sensory limits really are and to be able to try out and practice different coping strategies and accommodations to find out what actually works for him in a classroom setting, as it is unlikely that he will be able to take all of his college classes online.

So, our strategy for now is to have him practice and try out those types of skills first in settings where the course is not necessarily going to go on transcripts kept by other people, and we have the option to count it for our purposes as either elective credit or as an extracurricular. I'm unwilling at this point to risk him missing out on core content learning because he couldn't sit through the whole class without needing to move around or because he was having trouble taking lecture notes.

These are tough decisions. I know that I feel that, on the one hand, I want to make sure my child has all the support and accommodations he needs to achieve all I know he is capable of, but on the other hand, I don't want to inadvertently limit or stunt his development by being overprotective, and the location of the fine line between the two is almost impossible to see from this side of it.

Lori H,
Is there a community college or University within driving distance? Perhaps auditing a class or two would be a good addition to online classes? You are still the homeschooling parent, and you grant the grades, but the college classroom provides the course content.

It's so hard to find a balance between listening to other people enthusiastically blab about their experiences (the girl and teacher at the picnic) and wanting what they seem to have, and, on the other hand, recognizing that the world is a wide, wide place and what works for one doesn't work for all.

How much to lead? When to follow? Such difficult questions! I keep myself for overanalyse-ing by asking myself 'given all the constraints - what is the 'least worst option' at this time?'

If I was in your shoes, and I really loved that co-op class, I would consider carefully 'making a deal' with my kid that he do the first 3 examples from the grammar worksheet and if they are correct to leave the rest blank. The grade comes from you ultimately, and you are the one who decides what he actually needs. If my son were, say, 8, and getting a lot out of the writting part of the class, I would do the worksheets myself. It's trickier with a teen and may not be worth you while to go that far.

Have you asked the teacher if she would act as a writing tutor with him individually, so that he can get a more individualized experience? Is there anyone else that would be willing to act as a writing tutor?

Maybe your son would be interested in developing an online website that teaches other kids 'how to be a better writer' and he would be willing to collect all that is know about teaching writing? Lots of kids are entering college without solid writing skills, and interviewing Professors who teach Freshman Comp would be a great way to learn more about writing, while practicing writing, while providing a needed service.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Freshman do not need to be 18. It is not common for gifted students to enter college early. You can be a freshman at different ages and still get scholarships.

Many high schools students, including homeschoolers, earn dual enrollment credits. These are college credits earned while in high school. The student has not yet graduated high school. So, generally, when they enter college they will enter as a freshman rather than as a transfer students. This means they have the maximum eligibility for scholarships.

So, I'm just saying there is nothing to worry about. When he's ready for college classes he can take them and it won't hurt his possibility of getting scholarships later (and may well help it). I don't think though from what Lori has posted that he's at this point though. If he needs mom to be a notetaker for a homeschool co-op class he's still got a ways to go to either being independent or have formal accommodations in place. I certainly agree though as needed he should seek out college level material as he's ready for it.

Such important points. I also really like your comment about having these experiences while the stakes are still low and before it has to appear on a permanent transcript. Having these experiences now encourages a child to stretch in ways they might not need to at home. And, it helps them begin to develop a realistic understanding of what ways in which they may need help and accommodations. It is a process that needs to happen but it doesn't need to happen in a way that diminishes the child's chance of getting into college or being successful once they are there.