Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments STARTING MY SON (2.9 YRS.) IN DAYCARE

This is totally normal. All kids that age appear to be more advanced socially when dealing with an adult or older kid than when dealing with a peer. This is because the older person "scaffolds" the interaction.

So, a couple of points from this. First, just because a kid will socially engage with older kids but not agemates doesn't mean they're socially advanced. (Although of course some kids *are* socially advanced.)

Second point: Mixed age groups are good! For everyone! It's a much more natural way to grow and be socialized. Same-age groups are a very recent, artificial invention.

But, then, third point: In a classroom full of 2 year olds, a LOT depends on the teachers. Good preschool teachers will spend the entire day with endless patience coaching the kids to successfully interact with each other, providing the scaffolding they need. "I see that Jayden has one idea, and Phoebe has a different idea. Phoebe, what could you say to Jayden?" One nice thing about this is that it works even with two kids at different levels of social skills.

Also, a good classroom will have plenty to engage an eager mind -- art, caterpillars, dinosaurs, gooey stuff, plants being grown, books at a variety of levels, songs, dancing, drums to bang on . . . A lot of the problems being described in this thread sound like problems with the classroom, not with the age of the other kids.

Interesting points and I agree that mostly it was issues with the classroom and the teachers rather than the other students. But even when the scaffolding is there, he just won't interact with kids his own age.

I'm not seeing this as a sign of social maturity. More of an issue with the fact that we need to get the kid some type of socialization beyond his immediate family. If it's older kids that help him come out of his shell, then, for now, I'd rather him be around those kids than around kids he doesn't seem to relate to.

Since he won't do what the younger kids are doing, even when they're all doing it (e.g. sitting on a square on the rug and waiting his turn), but he'll do it when he sees older kids doing it, I'm inclined to allow him to learn those skills however he needs to.

My problem with the mixed-age daycares in this area is that they tend to be more child care focused than child development focused. I see a lot of carting kids around to pick up kids after school, a lot of time spent in food preparation, etc. Even sometimes 30 minutes at a time of TV a couple of times a day. Not enough free or structured play since the provider is too busy dealing with all of the kids' needs.

I had a great day care for my daughter (now 12), but we probably visited 15 places to find it at the time, and the provider has now moved on to another career.