Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion DS won't learn anything new

DS9 knows he's a smart kid. He's had people telling him that his whole life. Especially math. He's often called a "math genius" and all the kids at school make a huge deal about how he can do huge math problems in his head. Unfortunately, he has never had to work to learn any of this. Now, he thinks that he should just "know" stuff, instead of having to learn it. He refuses to put any effort into learning things. He literally makes up explanations to things, instead of looking up the correct answer. He reads A TON, so most of his explanations have some grain of truth and usually sound so complicated that the average adult will tell him that he is correct because the adult has no idea of the correct answer himself. This "know it all" attitude is most frustrating in math, because it is hard to "make up" a way to do a math problem that you don't know how to do. So with math, he just acts inpatient and like he is being bothered and refuses to let you explain how to do the problem.

Anyone else have a child like this?

My son went through a period of wanting to know how to do new math concepts without instruction. Wishing and wanting to know without instruction doesn't always make it possible for a child to know ahead of time. It took him at least two years to get over this. Currently he is happy with math and his math abilities.

Think of it as a form of perfectionism.
I did this a little when I was 11, just mainstreamed back from a GT school. It seemed like the explanation for the whole universe was on the tip of my tongue and I couldn't quite grasp it, like if I just meditated a bit everything would come clear. Actually learning stuff honestly wasn't challenging enough to be interesting at the time- it was more fun to grope for the answer and see how close I could come.

While this attitude was less destructive than the usual perfectionism, it was really unhealthy. I realized this myself and (mostly) cut it out after a couple of years. I don't think my parents ever caught on to what I was doing.

I think you're right to be concerned. If just finding appropriately challenging work isn't working because he wants to gestalt it all, maybe it would help to put him in a situation where he isn't top dog and has to work to keep up with kids his own age - like one of the summer camps I've read about.

Aleks.com

you don't ever have to say that he's wrong - the 'stupid' computer will. Enjoy!

My son didn't used to let me 'teach' him any math, but once he caught on to 'if I do 3 problems correctly I can move ahead, and if I make one mistake I get lots more practice' he was suddenly interested in my showing him stuff!

Smiles,
Grinity

ALEKS, yes, or maybe better Alcumus - more interesting mathematically, and has the property, which just might be relevant, that you have the chance to rate the problem and the worked solution, saying how much you learned from it. Sounds as though a bit of metacognition is in order here and that might just help!

What these suggestions have in common is that they take out the ability to bluff - they are computer programs to which you have to give just an answer, which is either right or wrong, no argument.

I second trying Alcumus, for the above reasons and also because it gives you two chances to get the question right. At our house, a lot of learning happens after the 1st wrong answer, but before dd puts in her second answer.

When did you steal my child?

Seriously, that is a perfect description of DS8! It is indeed a great deal of perfectionism, which I know because he comes by it naturally. When you're used to knowing all the answers, then you're automatically "stupid" when you suddenly don't know something. Believe me, I know this demon well, and it is quite unhealthy. We've had sporadic luck with ALEKS, the downfalls being that he gets upset at having to have things explained to him and he cries and gives up. We are attempting to get into Alcumus, but summer is winning at the moment.

Yep. That's my DS(newly)9 to a "T". It makes it impossible for me to get a handle on what he needs, or even whether or not he is gifted. With DD11 it was always obvious that she needed different work in school (not that it necessarily led to different work). With DS9, I think he would respond well to a different instructional approach with a high level of challenge, but I don't know for sure. He has two modes when it comes to learning and work: this-is-way-too-easy and this-is-too-hard! As a result, I haven't pushed for much in school.

What scares me about it is that I know part of it is that he knows his sister is advanced and is secretly worried that he is not. If he continues on like this, he will not be a top achiever, no matter smart he is, because the number of things he is willing to be "new" at will not allow him to keep up with the number of things learned by kids who don't share this trait. I believe that this will confirm all of his secret fears and make the problem even worse.

BTW, we did use ALEKS for awhile and it was not a good solution for him. He loved anything he could do quickly (e.g. vocabulary based learning: parallel, commutative, etc.) and anything he already knew how to solve. He had meltdowns when confronted by anything he wasn't sure he could do, and Quicktables...yikes! The whole timed response through him into all out panic.

He is a sponge for new information, and quickly picks up nearly any new academic skill once he stops melting down about it and looks at it (really--5 minutes of yelling or tears for a problem he finds himself able to solve in 20-30 seconds). It's exhausting.