Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Trouble on Madison Street

Great point, Lorel!

Hi Mia,

Have you considered subject acceleration instead of full skip? He may be ready for 2nd grade in some subjects but not all? It sounds like school is getting too stressful for your kid. I wouldn't worry about his handwritting just yet. He is only five (almost six).

I don't know if this would make you feel better, but I will say it anyway. My dd started 1st grade at 6 yrs 5 months. She was reading at 4/5th grade level but the only thing she could write was her name. We never schooled (homeschool or otherwise)so she never tried. She is now in 2nd grade and her writing is beautiful. She is a great speller and is getting high marks on both presentation and content on book reports.

I guess my point is he may just not be ready for writing at 2nd grade level but he may be ready for math/reading. In a few more months this may not be a problem anymore. Let him take the lead.

I believe wholeheartedly in skips and subject acceleration, but only when the child is ready for it and it won't cause undue stress.

Hi Mia - I'm so sorry about your situation! I was just going to say, my DS in 1st grade (who is old for grade) wrote HORRIBLY all through kindergarten. He had to interpret everything he wrote. Magically he is writing much better this year. Yesterday at school (I was volunteering) the whole class was making books on Christopher Columbus. Most kids were writing maybe a misspelled sentance or 2. DS was writing long paragraphs that I could actually READ on every page. It seemed well above 2nd grade writing to me compared to 2nd grade stuff I've read in the halls.

My point being as that these little guys change so incredibly fast. If he's anything like my DS, he probably needs some inspiration to get good at something. School is probably really boring for him, so why should he master it yet?

And I don't blame you for letting your son play World of Warcraft at all. My DS has been exposed to lots of non-age appropriate games and movies. He just seems to "get" it, and doesn't act it out in real life ever. Movies, games don't scare him at all. When your child is mentally years older than chronological age, sometimes you make non-orthodox choices.

Anyway - keep us posted! I'm also counting the days until summer.

I'm so sorry for your situation. It is so hard to see both the struggle for self control in an adverse environment and know that a single skill has such a high priority with the schools instead of being just 1 piece in the puzzle.

I am so glad to read the above posts since DS is almost 9 and his handwriting has not improved much even with OT and handwriting without tears. At least there is still hope. In fact, if he had to write the Columbus book his would look like most of the one's you described. A couple sloppy sentences with lots of errors. However, if they let him type the page, it would look much different lol.

I hope this school will continue to work with you. Any battles you can win here, will help you when you hit the new schools.

Good luck!

Thanks, ladies, for the kind words and support. It does help. I'm also glad to hear about handwriting improving in first grade ... it certainly might be a maturity thing. We'll see what the school has to say if we *ever* actually do the IAS.

Mia,

Move out by us. At worst our elem. school isn't that bad. I could tell you which school in the district is most GT friendly and you could move there. We'd still be a mile or two apart anc could have playdates!

The hitting thing is concerning. I don't think it's from playing a video game. Even though I met B for a short time, it's CLEAR he is NOT the violent sort. I'm thinking extreme frustration.

There are a lot of kids like C-dog around here, that helps. Maybe B would benefit with playing with more kids like him.

DO NOT be sad about his consequence and don't you dare waver!! You need to let him know you are serious about this. If he starts with the hitting it could develop into a problem, then hed might have a real problem finding friends. The other parents won't trust him and won't let their kids play with him. Sorry to be so brash. I'm a softie, but sometimes the tough love route is the way to go.

Incog

When I read your post I knew I had to show it to my nine year old son. He thinks your son is a lot like he was at that age. My son has always liked MMORPG games and has seen World of Warcraft and is impressed that a five year old could play a complicated RPG that requires so much reading. My son plays mostly free online MMORPG games now because I can't afford anything with a monthly fee. He occasionally plays Runescape.

Regarding the fighting, my son said he had trouble with bullies in kindergarten and he was being called names like geek and nerd. He was the only five year old in his kindergarten class reading well (5th grade level) even though a lot of the kids had been redshirted and were a year older. He was the second youngest in his class and he was no match physically for the bullies. He recalls one time when a boy wanted to fight him and he says he knew this older, much bigger boy was going to focus on taking him out using brute strength, which is something my son knows he doesn't have, so he knew he would have to focus on dodging the blows. He said when the other boy kept bullying him, he knew he had to face it but he also knew the bell was supposed to ring soon so he said he "held up his little nerdy fists" in response to the bully's threats and luckily the bell rang before he had to defend himself.

The handwriting issue is something he had to deal with also, but my son had hypotonia and motor dyspraxia which made handwriting and coloring in the lines difficult. He had a problem with reversing letters and numbers. Even though he made what normally would have been a passing score over and end of year first grade test to see if he could score high enough to skip first grade, he didn't make the required 90% in order to skip first grade and I believe it was partly because he couldn't write very well. The kindergarten teacher suggested holding him back a year to practice coloring in the lines and drawing and handwriting since she didn't think he needed to learn anything the next year. This is why really had no choice but to homeschool.

He was recently tested by his OT and his handwriting was low average but because of his hypotonia he still wouldn't be able to write as much as other kids. He has to write slowly to write legibly so he types most of his work at home. His visual motor integration tested a few years below his actual age, but he can write legibly enough that if he were in school they would not be required to provide accommodations.

Mia, I'm sorry for your stressful times. And adding a move and a XH to the mix must be so much harder. In our case, it is DS's handwriting that's holding him back from more rigorous academic programs at area private schools. But from what I recall about your son, he didn't have the fine motor or fatigue issues my gut did. Maybe he's bored. Whatever it is, I know it's no fun and I feel for you. Good luck. And thanks for your kind words on the other thread.

Clearly, I meant guy, not gut. Can't edit on my BB, and suretype drives me crazy. My gut has other issues.

Yeah, it's definitly a sign of his 'asynchousness' as the average player is 34 years old. That's average. DS11 loves it also. It does encourage typing if he's chatting while he plays...

Sorry he's having such a tough time. I believe that you should just keep pursuing the gradeskip and act like you are sure that the handwriting - and the keyboarding - will come in their own sweet time. My .02
Grin