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I'm by no means an expert, but I think if she is happy and doing well academically in school you could leave her at school, and if the concerns that you mentioned materialize you could homeschool at that point. It sounds like she fits in very well socially, "She is so social. She needs to learn with other people, bounce ideas off them, share her knowledge, etc." Maybe she is more social with the older peers. But 6th to 7th grade kids do start teenage stuff?



barb

If she's happy at school, why not put off homeschooling another year and re-examine at that point? (That is, if you're flexible about it-- parents shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for their kids.) It sounds like she's recovered from the previous year. Honestly, I think middle school is worst when you're the same age as your peers but mentally out of synch with them. When you're more in synch and younger it isn't as bad.

Does she have 3 months to follow her dreams this summer? Or are you thinking of something more like joining an Olympic team?

We've HSed from the start (oldest is 11), so I'm pro-HS, but if things are going great in the current school and peer group, I'd be reluctant to change things up.

Unless you're planning actively avoid academics during the HS year, I wouldn't expect it to go well with undoing the skip. HSing may reduce her tolerance for boredom, and it doesn't take many hours per week for a gifted kid to keep up with a normal school pace.

Why would you want to undo something that isn't a problem to begin with? What is it that you are worried about? I don't think you should hold her back to allow her to "grow up" more slowly. She is still the same person and is going to mature at the rate SHE is supposed to, regardless what age she is in. You can always postpone college later on and take some time to travel and do other things instead of jumping out into the workforce etc. We skipped DD and wouldn't think twice about doing it over again, regardless of her being the youngest one in her class. I don't think that is a wise option. If she is successful with it, I think you need to leave well enough alone.

I like the idea of a Gap year - but why choose now to do it? She appears to be thriving socially and academically. Please don't let our talk of Middle schoolers worry you - every group of kids is so different, and you can always 'take evasive manuvers - ((Homeschool)) - once the problem becomes acutally a problem, yes?

So enjoy the good times!

Smiles,
Grinity

As the mother of a DD9 who just finished 5th, I'm going to join in with the others that you hold off on the homeschooling idea. Your DD seems to have what we all wish for our kids: learning new things in an environment that she likes with people she fits in with and is good friends with. What's not to like? While you may be worried that she's going to grow up too fast, your DD is who she is, and who she is is a 5th grader going into 6th. From what you post, that is who she is through-and-through, save for her birthdate. Your DD clearly has so much in common with her friends. And her friends aren't going to all of a sudden become inappropriate for her to be friends with. And neither are all the other kids she's in school with. If they do, then her fit may no longer be so great, but until that happens (if it ever does) I, personally, don't think you should undo her skip.

Also, keep in mind that you, as her parents, are there to help shepherd her through any difficult or awkward times growing up. No matter what grade she's in, she will have these awkward times. Keep in mind, too, that kids grow up and mature at different rates, both socially and physically. There is often a window of 2-3 years when these changes happen, and your DD is comfortably within this window as compared to her peers. Just because someome is the same age as all her friends does not mean that she will mature at the same time or rate as her friends, and the opposite is also true.

Oh yes, that parent gut is powerful and deserves attention! And you bring up some good points about scholarships and wanting to allow her to problem solve and apply her knowledge rather than just continuing along in a regular school curriculum.

What does your DD say about the possibility of homeschooling? Do you think she doesn't feel as comfortable with the GT kids because of the particular children in her 5th grade GT group, which might be resolved with the particular 4th grade GT group, or is it more of a general issue? Does she still have friendships with her pre-skip friends?

Sorry I can't be of more help. When my DD9 had her 5th grade "graduation" ceremony, it made me accutely aware that she had "lost" two years of elementary school and that DD was growing up quickly. While I know that the grade skips needed to be done and that my DD is as happy as can be, it can be hard figuring out what is best, both long and short term. So, since I can't really help, (((hugs))).

Oops! I see you removed your post to which I responded! I wasn't fast enough!

Even though I homeschool my son I would absolutely not have homeschooled my very social daughter even if she could have learned more academically by homeschooling. The thing is, she could learn quickly whenever she wanted and needed to learn something and that didn't change even though straight A's were no longer important to her in middle school and high school. I remember getting phone calls from the teachers saying she was such a smart girl but she didn't turn in her work or she was talking too much in class or something like that. Middle school was the absolute worst. I hated those phone calls from her teachers. I didn't know what to say to them or my daughter so that she would listen. I couldn't understand how she went from making straight A's and teachers saying only good things about her to so many complaints. My daughter was just so different from me.

I tried talking to my then middle school aged daughter. I told her how important those grades were and how she needed the good grades and good test scores to get college scholarships so she could get a good federal government job like most of the people in my family have and she would have health insurance and she could afford a nice house, etc. after she worked her way up. She just wasn't interested. I couldn't understand it. I listened to my parents. Why didn't she listen to me?

But I always wanted my daughter to have the opportunity to make lots of friends and she did in school. She still goes on vacations with these friends who are now living in different states, but it doesn't matter because they enjoy traveling to see each other. About 10 of them got together recently to go to Las Vegas. They have been on cruises together. I love it that she is working hard and making good money and also enjoying life. This is what I wanted for both of my kids, but my son has disabilities as well as gifts that would make public school more difficult so we have to homeschool.

I am happy that my daughter has all those friends from school because as an adult she found really good jobs through her network of friends. She is smart but never took an IQ test, taught herself to read at 4, was young for her grade with a summer birthday and enjoyed combination classes like 3rd and 4th taught together where she was one of the younger students. But she seemed more socially gifted than anything else when she became a cheerleader in middle school. She told me she lost interest in school because the way they taught did not fit her learning style.

I think she learned most of what she knows after she got out of school. She does not get upset when things go wrong and is a good problem solver and she is very good at dealing with people. She does not get intimidated when she speaks to wealthy business owners. Her intuition and people skills are an asset. Her supervisors noticed this about her and even though she didn't have a degree, the company she works for recently wanted to make her an operations manager. Now that she has a job that pays well, she wants to take more college classes and finish her degree. I always thought you had to get the college degree first, then the good job. I am glad she didn't always listen to me and figured out for herself there is more than one way to do things. I hate to say this as a homeschooler, but I think my daughter was better off going to school.

Even though my daughter lost some of her "sweetness" in middle school by dealing with difficult middle school drama, it made her tougher. And having older friends caused some trouble later in high school, but we got through it. I can see in retrospect that all of these life experiences were a good thing for her.