Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy update on "just starting out"

I wanted to throw this out there and see what you guys think. I haven't said anything to DD4 about not going to Montessori K class next year because I wanted to wait until I had made a decision as to where I'd be placing her. (see "Just starting out...") I didn't see any reason to cause her anxiety about changing schools and possibly confuse her. I figured as soon as I know where she's going, I'll take her there and get her excited about that environment.

The problem is that DD told my husband a couple of days ago that she was not going to K next year; but instead would be in the preschool mornings and attending "enrichment" (child care) in the afternoons. When he asked her why she said that, she responded that "teacher 1" and "teacher 2" had told her and they said she's not ready for K.

Inside I'm fuming, but I don't know whether to say anything now or wait until the end of the year and let the coordinator know why she's not returning. I don't want her to be treated differently by her teachers because her mom complained to their boss and I don't want any tension when DH or I are in the classroom. On the other hand, I want to avoid these teachers taking it upon themselves to let my daughter know how they think I'm going to handle her education.

I don't think it was done maliciously, but I do think it was poor judgment on their part and presumptuous of them. I believe that since I wasn't argumentative or trying to beg them into letting DD into K next year at the conference, they mistook my tone for agreement. I just felt that if they thought she wouldn't be a "good fit" for their K program they're probably right, and I would find a better fit for her. I didn't feel it necessary to oppose their opinions.

What do you think? Say something now or wait??

I did exactly the same thing. I went to see a few schools on my own even though the principals sounded rather surprised. I wanted him to see only place(s) which I liked. No need to confuse him.

We dropped a few hints here and there and it has worked really nice. He has the whole picture now. He seems very happy about hs. He also knows that we are looking for a school where he could go for a few lessons. Right now we have one option and trying for one more.



I would be furious. It wasn't their place to say things like that. I agree it may be better to keep quiet and talk about it at the end of the school year, if you still want to. For the very same reason I may not ready tell my DSs' teachers what exactly we are planning to do next year. I think I will say something like "We are considering different options, may be even ..." if I am asked about it.

I would use the situation to your advantage when it comes to your daughter though. It could nicely explain why she is not going back to M. I would tell her that M Kindergarten may not be the best fit for her just like her teachers said, but that you found a school, which you think will be exactly what she needs right now and she can attend K there.

Something similar happened to us. DS was given early entrance in K at his private school. That teacher told him he wouldn't go to first grade this year because it would be "too hard". He is in the process of being accelerated to first grade right now. We ended up just telling him straight out that his old K teacher was wrong because she doesn't know much about his new school and that the principal was placing him in first grade because it was the right class for him.

I could have strangled that teacher... I'm sure you know what I mean.

Cathy A - I know exactly what you mean! I guess this type of thing happens more than I thought.

Lmom - thanks for the idea - I'm going to use this to help explain the change in schools to her.

I REALLY want to say something, but I think I'll just learn from it and move on.