Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Is this Asperger's??

His social skills are... good? He has a lot of friends but has been with the same kids for 3 years now and it has taken a while to get to a place where he loves them like he does. He is empathic to a point - more for physical injuries then emotional injuries, if that makes sense.
Pretend play is good - but he much prefers his music.
He used to be incredibly anxious, but has seemed to outgrown it. New environments used to take a lot of warming up to, as did athletics. For example, he used to be afraid to jump in a pool, now he goes running in and dives at full speed. Same for his razor scooter, which he avoided for so long, then got on one day and zipped around like a monster.
He is reserved in new environments.
When he is in his music "zone" I think to myself, WOW this is AS for sure..... Then I pick him up from school and he is surrounded by and engaged with his friends and laughing and goofing around and I think "no way".
We investigated this diagnosis or PDD/NOS when he was 3, and were given mixed results - some said yes, some said no.
He had a serious injury during that time (finger tip amputated at SCHOOL going to the playground in a door by the teacher!!!, it was reattached via surgery) and we leaned towards attributing some of his anxiety to this.
He is a LOVE BUG.. and I mean LOVE BUG. The I love yous and kisses and pictures drawn and love notes written to me are ENDLESS.
The dr. who tested his IQ said NO WAY to AS and I thought I had closed the book on that one, but yesterday, watching him with that music I was kind of back in the HECK YES space.....

THank you all for your responses..... it really helps~~

Lukemac, I'd go for an evaluation to be sure. The avoidance of new things, the inflexibility around the area of special interest, the intensity of that interest are all a little atypical, though not enough to make an armchair diagnosis easy. If his social relationships are truly reciprocal, with give-and-take and genuinely flexible conversation about a wide variety of topics, it's unlikely he has AS; but my instinct is to be sure, especially since AS is usually missed in bright kids and you suspected PDD-NOS earlier.

It will take a while to get an appointment (there are often waiting lists with qualified people)-- during that time you can make notes so that you have lots of info to give the evaluator. They will need to know things like how much time DS spends with the music per day if left unchecked; what is the nature of the protest about the music, how often, for how long; does the music habit interfere with other areas of life (play, school, family life); what happens if you make it so there's no access to the music for a few days. Anything you're concerned about, get some detailed data down so that you're discussing facts rather than perceptions.

There are lists of evaluators at www.aspergersyndrome.org .

Best,
DeeDee

I just wanted to add that I feel for you. If someone doesn't live with a child with obsessive interests, they have no idea how mind numbing it can be for the parent. My DD5 goes through various "obsessions" that everyone thinks are harmless and her recent evaluation came back as negative for Aspergers, but that doesn't make it easier on me as a parent. I worry it will alienate other children, that her brain gets stuck in ruts, etc. I feel for you even though it appears harmless. It can be draining to hear about the same topic again and again. I know.

I just wanted to add that I feel for you. If someone doesn't live with a child with obsessive interests, she has no idea how mind numbing it can be for the parent. My DD5 goes through various "obsessions" that everyone thinks are harmless and her recent evaluation came back as negative for Aspergers, but that doesn't make it easier on me as a parent. I worry it will alienate other children, that her brain gets stuck in ruts, etc. I feel for you even though it appears harmless. It can be draining to hear about the same topic again and again. I know.

Just to add: if it takes the child away from other beneficial things (friendships, family time, other learning opportunities) this kind of obsession isn't harmless at all. It's often a manifestation of anxiety, and can be really disabling. I'm for working toward helping the child have a range of interests that feel fulfiling, not just one.

DeeDee

Thanks all! DS was receiving Special Ed under an eligibility of SLD during his preschool years, and he received social skills and OT. We elected to send him to a Transitional K program this year which was private, so he has not received his IEP services. We received in the mail paperwork to see if we are interested in having his triennial evaluation and although we are prepared to send him to private school for 1st grade, I checked the box and will have them reevaluate him. We also have an appt with his neurologist scheduled this July to take a look.
In an odd twist, and I work for a school district on an intake and assessment team for preschool special education and also am a licensed therapist with the ability to diagnose via the DSM.... I still grapple over my own kid though.......
Thanks for the support, and I will keep you all posted!!!

Lukemac, sounds like a good plan. The private evaluation is key (the school may or may not have the expertise, but I would be doubtful). Make sure the neurologist has seen lots and lots of kids with autism spectrum disorders; there is no substitute for a trained specialist.

Grappling over your own kid is not a surprise to me. It took us lots of trying and false starts before we could start figuring our own out. The gifted/ASD menu of possibilities is full of interesting shades of gray and loads of frustrations, but wow, these kids also have so many possibilities.

Will be thinking of you.
DeeDee

My DS, who is 4.5 is the exact same way. Right down to the Britney spears and telling us the genres and if the song is explicit. Your description is eerily like my DS! What part of the country are you in, our kids could be BFF's! One time he was singing womanizer so loud in target I had to threaten to take away the iPod! It's ridiculous! He has track lists from all of his favorite CDs memorized. Right now he actually loves gorillaz, gee, that's appropriate! He does know he cant listen to explicit songs, but there are some that don't have swearing that talk about inappropriate things. That reminds me of his beck days.

He has one million toy instruments, he has always loved music. My inlaws are music fanatics too, everyone, including dh played more than one instrument, so I really think some of it is genetic. The rest I figure is a gifted quirk.

But how many of those kids you've seen were gifted? How many were highly gifted? Even if you've seen 1000 kids, 20ish would be expected to be gifted, and 2 would be expected to be 'way gifted' - so you can see how much time it takes to get real expertise with this population!
Love and more love,
Grinity