Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Is this Asperger's??

Good Morning all. Hope you all had great weekends. I wanted to through out a question to you all, and hope to gain some insight, as well as advice regarding DS5.
He has tested M-H gifted on IQ tests, and his achievement testing was off the charts. He is pretty flexible in most cases (we moved last weekend with no resistance, he goes with the flow and has no resistance to change). He does, however; have extreme obsessions. The past few months, it has been Pop music. He will listen to, read about, watch, and talk about pop music around the clock if allowed. He will listen to Pandora and make lists of which songs he wants to download. He has a LONG list of songs he wants. He can name any song from the first note, and tell you who sings it, if it is "featuring" another "artist", what album it is on.... He loves to play "name that tune" on skype with his long distance cousins (who are 12 and 10 years of age). When he gets in the car he says "I want my station" and is upset if we say no. He looks on Itunes and Youtube if left alone, and is particularly obsessed with the female artists (Lady Gaga and Katy Perri and Britney Spears. He is 5!! He will talk about who has songs that are "explicit" and who has songs that are "clean". Left to his own devices, he could easily "look" at music all day long (he likes to draw the album cover art).
Attempts to limit "music time" are met with "I'M mad at you. I am so so so so angry. Why are you being mean to me" and so on, along with crying.
We enrolled him in music lessons, and he enjoys it, but wants to skip "learning to read music" and jump straight to playing "pop". He uses the word "genre" to describe his "pop" music....
Is this at all normal behavior for a 5 year old boy????
How do we control this. OH, if we take away all music sources. he will dance and sing and beatbox all the songs that are in his head.
He has friends, but they report that he sings all the time at recess.
He is affectionate, loving, has excellent eye contact, reads body language and no sensory issues that are extraordinary.
PLEASE, advice would be great, it is getting very frustrating and upsetting and he will be starting a new school in the fall, where I doubt this will be acceptable behavior.
Thanks!!

It doesn't really sound like Asperger's to me, if none of the red-flag behaviors are present. I feel for you. I don't know what I'd do if my five year old son were beat-boxing to Britney Spears and Katy Perry all day.

Lukemac,

It does not sound like Asperger's to me either. At 5 DS was obsessed with pokemon, since then the obsessions have cycled through wwII weapons, ebay surfing, Call of Duty, learning Russian etc.
I do empathize with you having to listen to Katy Perry and Lady Gaga all day. My most recent horror is my son's interest in "techno" music and my daughter repeatedly playing "Baby" by Justin Bieber.

Lu, it is killing me! I can't stop him!! My husband keeps joking that "he's got music in his soul" but it is SO INAPPROPRIATE! and he LOVES it.... we are trying to expand his repertoire!!
Also, trying to figure out if he is gender confused at all.... maybe he wants to be a girl?? I cannot understand his fascination with these performers.

Oh, Justin Bieber.... he just LOVES him too. He went to see the movie with my husband, and then wanted to go see it again the next day with me....

I say nurture it! My DH was described just like your son. His mom would take him into record stores when he was two and he would name all of the artist on album covers and talk about their songs. He would spend hours spinning records on pencils and singing and drumming on things. His early music obsession has lasted his whole life. He has a vault of music knowledge that is staggering (always have him on your team in trivia games!). Sadly, his parents would chuckle at him but they never nurtured his love of music. He was not offered any music lessons. He now plays two intruments well... completely self-taught. He spends a good portion of his day listening to music, talking about it, researching it or playing it.

As an aside, he has NO traits of Aspergers. Just an extreme love of music (and maybe a little ADHD?).

I agree with kathleen'smum that I'd nurture in general the interest he's showing, since at least part of this current obsession must come from a genuine love of music.

I have no idea about gender confusion, but I don't think it's necessarily that. Maybe he's metrosexual. This particular direction might just be because he likes music, but other little boys he's around don't talk much about music right now, while the girls do. Does he have little girls who are good friends right now? When I was young, the only kid in my neighborhood who was on my wavelength was a girl and we became best friends for a long time, although (thank goodness) there was no Justin Bieber to speak of back then, and she was sort of a tomboy to boot.

At 5, DS would BLAST "Single Ladies" by Beyonce any where we went.

it was the scariest time in my life.

He's 7 now, and he's turned out a-ok. So far.............

Oh lukemac, hang in there! I can understand being worried and fed up as you reach for the advil!!

I totally agree about the not asperger's, not that I am expert in that area but it sounds to me just like total immersion, what caught me in your story is not that he is singing and listening, but that he is cataloging and patterning and learning. He is studying this - I know a kid like this about cars, he doesn't play just with cars, or video games, he knows every car name, can spot a car by it's sound, his mother thought it as nuts, and a waste of attention, but thats what he like, so of course they fed it. With iTunes and pandora he has a never ending supply of new information. Most kids do not hav the singular focus like these types - I don't think it's a bad thing - other than how much it annoys you but my sense is the all encompassing is what annoys you - so maybe try to find fun things to do where it is impossible to access music - harder these days with iPods and the like - but super fun things that might spark his interest like at a children's museum. Or science museum or trekking through a park.

Just some thoughts, but if he can't be distracted I hear Bose makes awesome sound proofing head phones

DeHe

Lukemac, I think the answer to your question is "we can't tell from here based on this information." If you're concerned, which I understand that you are, I think you should seek an evaluation.

Yes, that kind of obsessive categorizing is a hallmark feature of AS, as is the resistance to being separated from the obsession.

AS kids can sometimes be reasonably flexible about the things they don't care about, but deeply inflexible about their obsessions.


That could be a classic 5yo temper tantrum, or classic AS inflexibility. It takes a professional to sort this out.

How are your DS's social skills? Pretend play? Unscripted cooperative play? Does he care about and understand how others are feeling? Is he an anxious person? Those would all be markers that would likely help you start to sort this out.

DeeDee