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Our DS7 is like this. We have cycled him through a bunch of sports, trying to find something he'd like. He has told us he "doesn't like any of the ball sports." We recently signed him up for fencing (his choice), and he loved it for about a month, then there was a week off, and when he went back, he seemed to not know exactly what to do sometimes, and so now he claims to hate it. I'm trying to set him up with some more one-on-one training, because he was having a blast until the one bad week. But he's not a natural athlete, so sports have been hard. Also painful to watch him sometimes, as both my DH and I are fairly athletic. Would love it if he'd get into swimming, but he's been a polliwog for the last 4 years because he's so afraid. We did win a free month of tae kwon do, which we'll try as soon as we can fit it in. I'm thinking he'll probably like track, but he's still too young around here.

St Pauli Girl, wondering from your name if you are at TCFC... if so, we asked Kate to give our kid an extra session because she was pretty confused about a month in on foil and all the right of way rules. She did it (for free), and it really helped. The rules ARE confusing, but they are super helpful if you ask for some extra time!

My DS 8 has been begging for fencing lessons. The clubs around us only take kids 8+ so he'll get to start this summer! I was happy to read that many kids here enjoyed it because he is very anti-ball sport.

Played little league, took a ball in the hand and wanted to quit on the spot... mean mom made him finish the season since he was the one that asked to play. It wasn't pretty! Tried basketball camp, hated it. Tried flag football at school, hated it. Tried track and field but only wanted to do field, coach didn't believe in that, hated it.

So far, we've had success with swimming and gymnastics! He's not great at either but enjoys them now!

As for the "team sport" argument, I've had that with my father for years and years. Only after seeing DS get teased unmercifully in the little league dugout did he realize that team experience only works if the team isn't against you :-(

He helped coach Odyssey of the Mind this year and I haven't heard the "team sport should be required" argument since.

MY boy had a game today. I love seen his growth in a short period of time in these areas as well as well everything else. He flat turned it on tonight. Played a great game. We came up short but I was so proud, He was seeing the field again like I know he can. He was making plays that certain older teammates where not prepared for because his mind was several steps ahead. His lone goal was a beauty and he nearly had another on a volley, something he typically did not try. in just a few days he worked out issues with his footing and acceleration and put it into practice. The only downside tonight is he hates losing and he hates he did not finish more of those shots. I told that will come with time. We got pizza tonight. I was so proud of my boy.

I have spoken to several mothers of older/high school children who have essentially said:

My child ended up loving the sport he was trying at the time his body "synchronized".

For one young man it was hockey, another track. It also was important that it was a sport that kids typically learn/try later on, so that the child wasn't so far behind the learning curve.

I second swimming.
THe problem with so many youth sports is that they quickly get very competitive. Ultimately, in many sports, only the best kids get to play. If your child is good, but not great, they will quickly realize that they aren't playing in the soccer/baseball/basketball, whatever game. That will likely make perfectionist tendencies worse.
With swimming, you are competing against yourself. Even if you are terrible, you get to swim.

Why, yes, we do go to TCFC. Thanks - we took you up on your advice without even knowing it... Just before I read this, I got an email from Kate telling me that yes she could do an extra session with my DS. She also thought that he was doing just fine for just starting out, especially since he's on the younger end. So hopefully that will help out. I forget sometimes that he's the youngest, and of course that makes a difference.

I wish swimming were the answer, but it was the swim instructor who observed on her own that DS was "over-thinking things." He sinks like a stone because he can't relax, and he won't put his face in the water for fear of getting water in his nose and water in his goggles. The swim instructor actually gave him math problems in the pool as a way to distract him.

And I even paid the big bucks for private lessons.

I love the water but have always had many of the same hang ups as DS, so I don't swim well and feel pretty strongly about getting him through this (ditto for other sports), but that's where people start to tell me that I need to make sure I'm thinking of him and not myself.

I suppose we could take lessons together, but that won't work for everything.

ms. friz, how old is your ds?
ours only last year (age 10) really began swimming, so age might be a factor. I think it is a safety concern to never learn, so you might consider continuing to try but saving it for 10+. One thing that worked for us was daily (daily) swim lessons. I think I read that here, actually: just every single day in the pool, m-f.

I signed him up for back to back sports camps at our local gym because at the end of each day it was 45 minute swim lesson. This really got him over the hump.

I second the suggestion to put off swimming for a later age. DD took baby swim lessons for a year, getting more and more freaked out about the water as they expected more of her, and was finally asked to leave. Last summer, she decided that she was going to learn to swim, and learn she did.