Hello all,
I always end up writing these questions, but I'm not sure what track to take. I'll give you some information on my older son and my younger son and then explain what I'm asking:
DS9 is diagnosed with AS and possibly ADHD. He has made leaps and bounds this year in terms of behavior. There is a thread of kindness that I used to have a hard time seeing in him that he is now showing. He gets gifted for 45 minutes in the morning and afternoon on alternate days, part of it for math and part for reading. In general, he seems ok, but he's definitely not challenged. He's off-task a lot, has a lot of organizational issues, and tends to complain a bit. At the same time: I asked him what math he was doing and he said fifth grade; I asked him how it was and he said easy; I offered to talk to his teacher about it and he said no, don't because I like it easy.
My DS8 is definitely ADHD. His working memory issues are clear as day when you get to know him. He is on the lowest dose of Concerta there is, and there are huge changes in his memory abilities. Note that I am not looking for perfect behavior in school or complete self-control, just something to help with what I truly felt was a debilitating problem for him, his inability to recall things well. He is also Gifted. He has some tendency to be too sensitive to what others think and I fear he will be susceptible to peer pressure.
Now, when I look at those two paragraphs, I see two children who are leaps and bounds ahead of where they were a year and a half ago. Clearly, social skills groups, sensory labs, boy scouts, psychiatrists, behavior help, huge amounts of meetings to work on their education are all getting somewhere. But, how much more do I push. Do I need to force DS9 to work harder, push for higher level math?
Part of me says:
Absolutely, he needs to learn to study, we need to determine if his unwillingness is really ADHD or some OE. There is so much still to do.
Part of me thinks:
It has been so hard. So many meetings, so much emotional trauma, and so much lost time off for meetings and appointments. Can't I just leave well enough alone until there is really an issue to deal with?
And I'm not really sure where the answer lies.:/ So I guess that's where my question is. Am I being a bad mom by just being tired of the struggle when I know there is still more left to do?
