Younger kids, especially crave the attention that comes with success and want to do well.
Mich, I do believe that this is generally true, but I happen to have spent my life surrounded by twins and I think life is a bit different for twins, in particular in regards to the craving for attention. Twins have had the experience of paying attention to each other, and being paid attention to by each other from before birth. So the craving that we are so familiar with in singletons isn't a given with twin pairs.
I'm sure Min, that you are a beloved and cherished 'toy' from the perspective of Howard Glasser's 'Transforming the Difficult Child' - however, it's a safe bet that their very favorite toy is each other. This means that it's worth a try, but that it may be slow going. I'd actually use the workbook, Lisa Bravo's 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' to get started if that is appealing.
Then lets look on the bright side - they have always had their own cluster group! They never feel like the 'only one' who gets their jokes. They get a tremendous amount out of having each other's support.
I would take a look at
http://www.wholefamily.com/aboutyourkids/dr_rimm.htmland see if it rings any bells...twins can wind up 'overempowered' even if the parents are united and appropriate, by siding with each other!
Testing is a great idea, but what to do until then?
I would just plain enjoy them! If they flunk 3rd grade it won't go on their permanent record. The teacher created this situation, so I would do a lot of smiling and nodding and ask a few potent questions, and then launch into an anecdote about how wonderful they are at home. You may want to check out a few other school options for next year. It's always interesting and sometimes more informative than testing when listening to what 'admissions people' think of one's kid(s.)
One thing I found very helpful when I didn't know what to do - which lasted many years pre-Davidson at my house, I would give 30 minutes of 'special time' each week where DS got to call the shots and make the rules (within the limits of safety and misery, but I did challenge myself) and I just used my determination to get interested in whatever he picked to do. My hope is that the more detailed and specific your knowledge of them is, the better able to apply whatever advice you get when the testing finally arrives.
You might even want to keep a journal of how the special times go. I wouldn't specifically try to 'get them to talk about it' but I do think that this sets the stage for those really good conversations. I never understood how come my son could lecture for an hour about the habits of Emperor Penguins but not give a 3 word answer for 'How was your day?' Now I think that some kids do and some kids don't.
Hope this helps,
Grinity
