HK, your DD sounds an awful lot like mine right down to the epic power struggles -lol.
It never seemed to be a big issue to my DD, not truly having a fit with the kids at school. But as she got older, things started to go downhill, her grades dropped, she found fewer people she cared to hang around and she just became more and more withdrawn and difficult. By high-school, she had only one friend who was somewhat of a gifted outsider herself.
We were lucky enough to have found a summer camp for gifted kids (through DUKE TIP) early on, and both my DDs went every year, it wasn't until about age 13 that I started to realize what a very different and much happier child my dd was during camp than during the rest of the year. I mentioned the camp to my DDs quirky friend's mom and that year she sent her daughter too. Her daughter (14) said that that week at camp was the first time in her life that she ever really felt normal and she realized there were actually others like her out there, people who really got her.
I think the week at camp every year was like going to the home planet for reaffirmation/sanity check and it was something that maybe helped with getting through the rest of the school year where they were the odd ducks.
Unfortunately, the camp director passed away and the camp shut down a few years ago. If I ever win the lottery, I plan to start a gifted summer camp like that one, it was such a god send for my girls.
