My son went to his cub scout group's Blue & Gold Banquet yesterday and he enjoyed doing the skits with the other Webelos in front of an audience, and of course, he enjoyed the food, but as usual he ended up spending most of his time talking to his friend who is four years older and who happens to be in my son's musical theater group. He is the brother of one of the boys in my son's cub scout group. The brothers are both gifted but the gifted boy my son's age just doesn't share my son's interests, except for Yu-Gi-Oh. My son says his own interest in Yu-Gi-Oh waxes and wanes and he said it waxes so slowly that you could even call it "turtle wax" but he does occasionally enjoy playing Yu-Gi-Oh with the boy his age.
The older gifted brother is just more like my son in some ways except the older boy is very coordinated and picks up complicated dance routines effortlessly. Neither he, nor my son, are interested in sports. They are more interested in books and video games and music and musical theater. But not even the older brother seems interested in the classics and he doesn't have the same level of interest in vocabulary and good metaphor and analyzing books that he reads. He reads mostly fiction. My son is also more interested in science and history than this boys is, but still he seems more like my son than any of the other boys we have met. He even tried out for the spelling bee several years ago and this is one reason my son decided to try it.
We mentioned to my son's friend that we just found out my son was one of two winners from our region who will be competing in our state's Pee Wee Spelling Bee. I know that some people thought the boy who won the national spelling bee last year had to have Aspergers, and I think my son's friend watched the spelling bee which is why I think he said what he said next.
My son's friend told us that he noticed that my son was similar in some ways to a boy that he knows in middle school that has Aspergers because my son used to flap his hands when excited, especially after leveling up on a video game. My son doesn't do this in public any more though.
But the developmental pediatrician says my son does not have Asperger's. He has good social skills around people he has something in common with. My son does have motor dyspraxia and sensory integration issues and hypotonia. Because he is not around kids his age (musical theater class is with kids up to age 19 and he tends to hang out with the kids three and four years older) he tends to talk more like an older teenager or adult.
I noticed at a recent reunion with five of my husband's brothers and sisters, that my son has no trouble talking to them. One of my husband's siblings is a geology professor, another is an oil company executive, another works for a law firm and speaks several different languages fluently, and they all appear to be very coordinated as well as verbally gifted. The husband of one of my son's cousins is finishing up law school and did drama in school and he seemed to enjoy talking to my son about theater and video games and he and his wife said they would like to watch my son if he made it to the spelling bee. My son obviously felt very comfortable around these relatives and seemed to fit right in.
One of my sisters-in-law said she wondered if my son's physical delays caused him to be more advanced mentally, like someone who is blind having a more advanced sense of hearing or smell than most people.
I do notice people watching my son and listening to him, but
I think my son will fit in some day. He just doesn't fit in very well at moment with kids his age partly because of physical differences that we hope occupational therapy will help. I don't think he should have to dumb down his speech so he appears less different around kids his age. I will not make him watch cartoons as the developmental pediatrician suggested. There is nothing wrong with being different.
