Cece-
If your son has some aspie traits, then perhaps this will comfort you. My oldest son is profoundly gifted but also has Asperger's. I'd place him on the mild to moderate end of the spectrum; he wasn't diagnosed until age 13, though his symptoms were all recognized and some were treated from age five. He had a really hard time making friends at school. Still, we kept trying different schools and hoping for that magical place that would:
1. challenge him academically
2. support his fine and gross motor delays with therapy
3. be a place where he could have friends
When we relocated just after my son had his neuropsych eval, he was faced with a choice. He could homeschool, as we had just started this route with his little brother. Or... he could attend the middle school in our new town, where a "nerdy" kid was hit in the head with a rock and sent to the hospital just before we moved.
My son obviously elected to learn at home, though DH and I were concerned that this would only further isolate him from his peers. What happened next was extraordinary. My son joined the homeschool teen group, and was warmly and immediately accepted! He suddenly had more friends at one time than he had ever had before. Most years, there would be one, or maybe two at the most who might loosely be called friends. Once he came home to learn, he had more energy to put into relationships, so it was not just a case of finding sympathetic kids. He was not using up all his reserve just existing in the 30 child classroom with blinking florescent lights and lots of distracting noise. Not only did my son form close relationships with other homeschoolers, he also became friends with two kids who had been more like acquaintances at his old school. It was so beautiful to see him bloom this way. He was still socially naive and made mistakes, but he was SO happy to actually have kids he could call on the phone and ask to come over to play dungeons and dragons or watch anime.
Does that ease any of your social concerns? Introverts need to have alone time to recharge. If they are constantly with other people, they tend to go deeper into their shells. By having alone time at home, in his comfort zone, my ds could then go out and be more proactive about mixing with other kids.
