I just need to get this off my chest and share with someone who might understand my frustrations.
Last week I got this e-mail from DS(5)'s Montessorri teacher:
Just a note to tell you how well everything is going with ***. I really feel like he's a big part of our family now. All the kids love him, he is helpful and beginning to relax and play well. He is great outside and one of my biggest die - hard outdoor enthusiasts...as long as the sledding holds out at least! I have seen him get involved in some great imagination games with cars and blocks lately too. I was telling [his dad] there have been a couple of afternoons when everyone is begging to play with him and he has to make tough choices, kindly telling some he will play with them in a while. He plays well with both girls and boys. I pointed out to him how popular he is getting and how all his hard work has paid off, and he was delighted. "You're right! All my work is paying off!" I almost never see the angry outbursts, and I'm not as interesting as I used to be now that he is busy and happy.
This morning, we began our unit on Reptiles, and he spend the whole morning reading the info cards, sorting the types, and then comparing reptiles to amphibians with me. After that concentrated work period of about an hour, he went on to take out the resource books and page through them to fine out more. His reading is coming along really fast, and he continues to work well in math. We had a new child start, and *** is such an old hand - helpful and considerate with this new boy just about his age. I am happy he has settled in so well.
I'm getting our a lot of our early reader science and cultural books for him to delve into as we study each unit to help him move ahead when he can. I'll keep you posted!
Then today after informing the same teacher that I wasn't going to enroll him for the extended day K program next year since the deadline was today and I am still waiting on the public school decision for a skip to 1st grade I got another e-mail. When I told the teacher I wasn't going to enroll I also mentioned that I wish when DS has started at the school in October I really wish she would have just allowed him to start in the K program at that time since right now he is academically way ahead of all the 6 year olds. Here is most of that e-mail:
I see all your points.
I am beginning to see the readiness you mention for *** to be in extended day. When he first started, his ability to wait, cooperate, take turns, listen, and focus on writing tasks was more that of a late four - early 5 than closer to 6 where the other extended day kids are at this point in the year. He had quite an adjustment and needed time to settle in.
He has made a lot of progress, and could probably handle it now, although he still throws tantrums or breaks into tears when frustrated or asked to wait. When we are reading his early readers he gets a bit obstinate about being told he is incorrect, when we read his upper level info books, like atlases or science books, he is fine for about a page then needs a break.
So we do a little each day in a lot of areas.
One on one, he can sit and work for quite a while, I still find him distracted and a bit interruptive at group lessons that last more than 15 or 20 minutes. Again, this is very developmental, and not a problem for me at all, but could be in a structured class of over an hour.
Another point is that some of the projects are year long,and *** came in with less than half a year to go. We only offer that program to students scheduled to attend first grade the next fall. To open it to four year olds would be hard, as most parents think their kids would benefit from early placement there, and it really is a pre first class. We created the class for third year students.
Good luck with your school search, and let me know if I can help. If there are no acceptable options in April, and you find you would like to come back, we'll see where we stand with class size and age breakdown.
I am really frustrated. I understand asynchronous development and I am not feeling like we are on the same page at all. Ever since I told this teacher over a month ago that we had been trying to work with the public school she has told me that she feels that DS should not go to 1st grade next year and he should attend her extended day program instead. We just had a conference last month where she told me "First or even 3rd grade would not be an academic challenge to your son so why rush things?".
At the same conference she also gave me the developmentally most kids even out by 3rd grade line. I tried to politely disagree but in the end we just agreed that different people and educators have different theories on this topic.
I understand that this is just the beginning. I also put the DYS application in the mail today. It's going to be a long wait.
