Anyway. Just mentioning that, depending upon maturity and personality, I think that it's probably fine to begin mentioning that kind of long-term view of things to kids when they are 8-10. Well, EG+ kids, anyway. As long as it doesn't seem to cause them undue stress and fuel perfectionism that is UNHEALTHY.
I have noticed that talking about the long term can make him anxious. He had tears in his eyes the other night and said to me that he didn't see the point of life if he has to work hard at elementary school, then keep going to school and work hard, and then spend his life working hard at a job. I tried to tell him that the further he goes in school, the more he can choose his subjects, and that hopefully he can find a job that he likes enough that it doesn't feel like "work". He has also said to me that he is worried that he will become a homeless person (which I have never mentioned to him at all, execpt to answer his questions when we see homeless people on the street).
I started thinking yesterday that maybe "I don't care" is the flip side of perfectionism. He was a real perfectionist when he was younger (ripping up drawings because they weren't "good enough", etc) but looking at his current work habits and effort, I certainly wouldn't call him a perfectionist now. I guess giving up before you start is a good way to avoid failure. I'm trying hard to work on his self-esteem (using the Nurtured Heart Approach that I read about here among other things).
As for the new school placement, its hard to know how he feels. I think its much for the best. He had been at Montessori since the age of 3, and it was time for a change. It worked well for him until grade 4 (where he had a teacher who didn't "get" him and didn't seem able to keep the class in control, and a complete loss of motivation on his part). The more structured approach of traditional school is good (he knows what he needs to do, and mostly does what he is told). He was not happy at the Montessori, seemed to be constantly in trouble, and was glad to change. However, he tells me he isn't happy where he is now either. So who knows. Friends are so important at this age -- he had a few good friends at his former school, and although he seems to get along OK with everyone at the new school, he hasn't wanted to invite any of them over yet. He will only have one more year before he starts a new school (secondary school starts in grade 7 here) so I'm not sure its worth considering another change before then.
