I am dealing with the same issue right now with my DD who is 8.5. If feel like I could have wrote your post. My DD is really torn. She wants to know whether or not Santa is real on an intellectual level, but she doesn't want to know in her heart. Recently when she asked I answered by saying "you don't want to know" so I could feel out whether or not she was ready to know. She cried and said the knew it was me. She seemed to put that out of her mind shortly after that and now still continues to question whether or not Santa is real. I know she is not ready to know and knowing would break her heart, so I continue to be evasive with answers.
In our house we say that you need to believe in the spirit of Santa or he won't come. My 14 and 12 year olds still like to play along and I am sure they will continue until they move out. Over the years I have left the wrapping of the presents until close to Christmas and have remained on alert knowing that right up to the last minute I may have to make a quick return and purchase something else. I have also come up with other solutions like saying that I'm sure it is too late to change you mind now as there are a lot of kids in the world and Santa probably already has your toy ready and packed (or a similar mistruth).
Good luck. Every child is different. When my boys asked they were quite ready to know and already knew, but just wanted my acknowledgement. With them it was a non-issue.
