Hi everyone. I've been lurking on and off for a few years now, and have learned so much from this forum. THANKS! Life in school with DS6 had been relatively smooth sailing for a year, but now I see rough waters ahead and would like to ask your opinion/experiences.
My DS6 skipped K last year at the principal and teacher's recommendation after they tested him to be advance in math and reading (reading at end-3rd grade at age 5). His 1st grade teacher was great - even though things weren't perfect and DS6 probably didn't learn to his full potential, it was probably as good as I could hope for in a regular public school - he had an understanding teacher who really saw his giftedness and tried her best to challenge him. My son is not an easy kid - he's active, easily bored and squirmy. In first grade, my son was still ahead of everyone else, and towards the end of the schoolyear, we had a meeting with the teacher and the principal and they recommended a subject acceleration in math and differentiated instructions in reading/language arts the following school year. I also (privately) got my son evaluated, and he scored 139 full scale, and I believe a 143 or 144 GAI in WISC-IV.
Fast forward - 6 weeks into the schoolyear and we just had a meeting with both his 2nd grade teacher and 3rd grade math teacher. Not good. The 2nd grade teacher is okay - she is nice and is well-liked by kids. My problem is that she has her hands too full with so many things that I feel like she doesn't really know my son. But at this point, it's nothing that proper communication and some lowering of expectations on my part can't fix. As in, I probably should forget about reading and language arts differentiation in school. Fine. She seems like someone who wants her students to succeed. I just need to stop wishing for my son's GREAT 1st grade teacher back!
Then I had my meeting with the math teacher, which I set up and followed up myself. OMG - I want to cry. In fact, I did - for most of the weekend. If I get this feeling that the 2nd grade teacher doesn't really know my son, this other one is totally clueless. Okay, partly my fault - I should have been more assertive in making sure that I get a combined meeting with everyone - but with the way things run so smoothly in 1st grade and all the positivity of our end-of-schoolyear meeting, I felt that things were great and I can relax a bit.
Things I discovered (I had no clue - nobody bothered to clue me in) - my kid did not pass the last 2 topic assessments. Math teacher claims he is a behavior problem (does not focus and squirmy). Let me give you an example of some of the things she said, just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with:
"Your son acts like a typical 6 year old, but definitely not like a 3rd grader"
"If he is truly gifted, you shouldn't be really needing to help him with math" (This is after I asked, for the 3rd time, if I can have access to the text book so I can help my kid better by having a clear view of what is expected of him, and especially since he misses a class or so per week due to scheduling conflicts.)
"Oh, you mean he didn't do 2nd grade math?"
Anyway, on the overall, I left with a heavy heart and a clear view of her as someone who was not briefed at all about my son's situation, and definitely has no buy-in to this arrangement. I know in my heart that she sees my child as an additional, unworthy burden. I'm pretty sure as well that she has no experience with gifted kids and all their complexities.
I'm setting up a meeting with the principal and would love to hear your thoughts, words of wisdom, encouragements. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don't want to make it worse by complaining about the way this entire situation was handled, but somehow I have to turn this situation around. I know that 3rd grade is the right math level for DS6 but to be honest, I am not confident he can be successful with this teacher. I believe that for this arrangement to work, there has to be a full buy-in on the teacher's part, which I can't really imagine happening anymore at this point.
Thanks in advance!
JSMOM
