Hi Sundance! I'm glad you found our group. I second reading Developing Math Talent and looking into EPGY program. We are in a similar situation with dd in terms of private school not legally having to serve gifted needs, Everyday Math, and bullying issues.
My personal bias is that the EM program isn't deep enough for some pg students no matter how much they are accelerated.
DD's school has accelerated her in math but I'm not so sure about her going up to the middle school at 9, if nothing else their schedule is really different even though its in the same building - rotating class period and some different holidays - so I thinking about advocating for them doing the EPGY program so she can move at her own pace... I'm not sure how that conversation is going go over...
If you child qualifies for Davidson Young Scholars you might want to consider applying, especially since it sounds like you already have test scores.
Keep us posted,
Chrys
