Kids learn at different rates. One excells at bike riding while another can read chapter books first. Ideally each child should do what is right for them by challenging themselves.
I try to tell my kids to do their best and not be concerned what the other kids are doing. What the other kids are doing is the parent/teacher's concern. Sports and Chess are areas where my kids can see other achieving above them. I think it great to see this.
Motivation can come from helping them to see they did a good job and tell them to give themselves a pat on the back. I think it is important to emphsize the process more than the outcome. I try to give attention by them telling me about their project and what they got out of it. Was it fun? What was challenging? It's not about pleasing me. Then when they are faced with a new challenge help them to know it would feel good to complete this job. If they are worried it's too hard they can get help. Making mistakes is part of the learning process. Working hard and completing it gives a good feeling. I encourage my kids to drive themselves rather than be parent driven.
There are books on gifted and motivation. Sorry I don't have reccommendations. That's something I want to read at some point. There may be something on hoagies or the Davidson Database to read. Good luck.
My suggestion would be if you are feeling really frustrated get outside with your child for the day and have some fun. You can both get more relaxed and feel more connected which will help the situation.
I hope this helps.
