I hang around the bus stop within earshot of my ds most of the time, especially back when he was really having issues fitting in. I found out that when confronted by other kids he would fall into a fairly rude sounding, condescending tone. During one verbal interchange where one kid said something like 'pokemon game is g*y', and my ds was firing off a pretty snotty sounding response, I stepped in and corrected everyone. To the boys being grossly mean, I said I heard what you said, that is really rude and mean, and to ds, you need to take a nicer tone! Everyone needs to be nicer to each other!
Wow, does this sound like my neighborhood! We've done this for so many years now, I dread school starting for the bus stop behavior and I dread summer for putting them all together all day long! DS7 is short on social skills (recently determined to have some Asperger's) and most of the other kids he plays with are ...unruly? ...rambunctious? ...err brats?
So we have a lot of those discussions.
I think it sounds like yours may be a bit short on the social skills as well, from the "not helping himself" remark and the descriptions of classroom behavior--that comment is something our last year's teacher would have said, and she is truly great. So your teacher may prove to be what you need for the situation as well. Good luck--I know we need some, too!
