mmme, maybe it would help if you reframed it from "aggressive" to "assertive." This article Assertiveness and Effective Parent Advocacy is written for parents of children with special education needs. Even though in many states, the law doesn't address the special education needs of gifted children, those needs still exist.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/advo.parent.sherrett.htm


http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/test.iee.steedman.htm
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Parents and school personnel are often confused about what constitutes an independent educational evaluation (IEE) and how the evaluation is to be used. This article addresses what constitutes an IEE, the value of an IEE, what the law requires of school districts, and who is financially responsible for an IEE.

What is an IEE?

Federal law defines an IEE broadly as "an evaluation conducted by a qualified examiner who is not employed by the public agency responsible for the education of the child in question." 34 C.F.R. 300.503.

Thus, an IEE is not limited to evaluating only a child's academic or cognitive skills, but may include the evaluation of any skill related to the child's educational needs. Evaluations of neurological functioning, adapted physical education, sensory needs, even music therapy, are but a few examples of the types of IEEs covered under the IDEA. Parents may obtain an IEE, for virtually any purpose if it impacts the child's education.

What is the Value of an IEE?

One goal of Congress in passing the 1997 Amendments to the IDEA was to strengthen the role of parents in the educational decision-making process. An IEE provides parents added authority at the IEP meeting. One court held:

"[T]he failure to receive and consider parental information, including evaluations they may obtain, directly denies parents the pivotal role they should enjoy in the development of their child's placement. This role includes not only providing evaluations or other information, but discussing such information. Consideration of such outside information also ensures that a program is individualized and provides a check on the judgments being made by school officials regarding the child." Community Consolidated Sch. Dist. No. 180, 27 IDELR 1004, 1005-06.