oh, BKD...that's HORRIBLE!!! Ergh. Before I was a parent, I would vomit if I saw vomit. Sigh. It was a reason I thought I might not be a good one. My worst thing yesterday was the baby tossing a cup of icy water down my shirt at a party - FAR better. I know, b/c I've had the full frontal vomit, too!
The cognitive therapy...I have to say, I'm impressed. She swears up and down the block, his shrink, that she didn't put these words in his mouth, but a couple of weeks ago he came and told me that, even though people seem to like being happy, for him, he was used to being sad, so it was comfortable to him, so in a strange way, he liked being sad better than being happy. I was amazed at that kind of insight, so early in the process. It helps a lot, to have someone outside point out things like unreasonable expectations, overgeneralizing, work on noticing how intense a feeling he's having (sent him home with a thermometer to mark). He was anxious and depressed from school, badly, but he also has (had??) this rigid mindset...what he thought was the WAY it WAS, and literally years of playing Best Thing, Worst Thing at home at night to point out that there are good parts of even the worst days hadn't cracked it. The psychologist who tested him and made him feel better about being smart can get him to think about these things. He respects her and wants her to like him, I think. And it helps, having this framework. I can talk to him about his brain being in the habit of being upset, and how now that things are better in school, his brain is still going to LOOK for things to be upset about, b/c that's how his brain feels comfortable (I am still just blown away that he could see that and say that about himself); that that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with his life. He has ordinary, every-day problems now, like every other person, and they aren't going to wreck his life, and all he has to do is give his brain time and practice noticing the betterness of his life and it will, eventually, stop TRYING to make him sad. And that seemed a big relief for him. It's as if it gives him comfort and empowers him, while making 'him' not responsible for the tricks his brain gets up to. It's a weird, but apparently very useful trick. I'm enthused, and cautiously hopeful. I really really really want to get him some more resilience. I think it'll make an enormous difference to his happiness.
just re-reading your post...it reminds me of DS7 getting carried up the stairs for bed this Christmas (when he was barely 7, granted), howling "you're killing me! You're KILLING me! You're making a TERRIBLE MISTAKE!" And he wished he wasn't alive at 4, when kids teased him for not being a fast runner. Boy, does that trait worry me! That's kind of the crux of the thinking I want to break open and replace with more productive thoughts!
and final btw...we ALL have purple eyes around here. We're the family who doesn't sleep. Oh. Ok. Not so final. Grinity, I have that book around here somewhere. Got it when oldest was 3...was interested but didn't get around to implementing other than occ. trying to talk about all vs. parts, etc, and haven't read since then. I'll pull it out again and see what I think and let you know...assuming I don't get sucked back down into my life and not resurface for months!
