Hi Ania,
I've heard others say on this blog--relax, it's ok. I'm trying to let him be, but it's hard.
LOL! You've heard that on THIS board?
Golly - let me tell you a story about my mom, at age 12, and Summer Camp:
Every year My Grandmother showed her brochures and urged my mom to sign up. Every year my Mom plainly stated that she didn't want to gol
Finally my GM got fed up and sent her anyway. DM had a wonderful time, and return, to criticially demand:
"Camp is great. Why didn't you send me before? I've missed so many summers! It's unfair!"
GM: Well, dear, I did suggest it, but you always said "No."
DM: So why did you listen to me? I'm a kid! What do I know?
Possible Conclusions:
1) DM was a spoiled brat who deserved a swat. ((This is my gut reaction, and possibly true.))
2) No matter what course we parents plot, our hyper-alert, hyper-aware, hyper-critical inexperienced children will second guess us. We just can't win. ((BTW - it's our own perfectionism that tells us we have to be right all the time.))
3) We have a duty to observe our kids and excercise judgement about which times we let them make choices and live with consequences and which times we intervene. This is no one right answer.
4) We can use this story to explain to our children why we are making them do things that they don't agree with. My mom did to very good effect. You are welcome to "steal" this story, and "annex" my family. Become a broken record. The 37th time all you have to say is - "You remember what happened to Aunt Trinity's Mom and Summer Camp" for the kid to think - Ah! Children don't always know what's best, we lack experience!
5) What if DM had had a terrible summer? Would that have reinforced her notion that she knows better than adults and can't trust anyone to think for her but her?
6) Apparently one can be a untrusting, critical, obnoxious 12 year old, and still grow up to have a good life, perhaps starting a long line of supicious, critical, obnoxious offspring who hopefully also have good lives. One can hope.
7) Is bossiness perhaps "genetic?"
Well, Dear One, I had a wonderful time sharing this family story with you - Who wants to start a fresh Topic on family stories so we can quit threadjacking Ania's topic?
Love and Big Smiles,
Trinity
