Could you get the school psych involved, especially with an outside diagnosis and treatment plan?
I've found this year that the teachers have good intentions, but just truly do not get some of these issues; and may never.
If the teacher is going to change her expectations and fiddle with her grading system, it's probably more likely to happen if she understands. But in this case it's reasonable to ask her to do so even if she doesn't.
I have never been successful so far in having a teacher do something different for either of my children if she doesn't buy into it. But the teacher may be more likely to do something *against her/his better judgement* if she/he hears if from another school person that he/she knows and trusts. A school psychologist, social worker, gifted coordinator/teacher, and/or principal.
Additionally, this may ease the *pain* of being told you are harming my son more than you are helping by the parent; which may salvage the relationship teacher and DS have.
It's a tough decision to decide whether or not you leave it alone and see where it goes or get involved and risk pissing the teacher off. Let me tell you from experience that can go down very badly for the child for a variety of reasons.
What about this: do you feel comfortable having son sit down with the teacher and have her clarify exactly what she is looking for? Sometimes DD needs the teacher to do that, she is a very black and white thinker.
