I am going out on a limb here and posit that having to overcame abuse and dealing with disassociation is much more to blame than not learning how to feel part of a group in childhood. I mean, how much of a childhood group have you, with your level of giftedness, ever had a chance to have? My own experience is that catch up in social skills does get harder with age and the more you have missed, but it does absolutely still happen in adulthood, too. I have played the catch up game all my life and am still changing and learning with life experiences (and i know it is noticeable because people i haven’t seen for a long time comment on ir). As you suspect, there is probably more to the disconnect you feel.
Do you have a good therapist? It is super hard to find one who can deal with both trauma and giftedness, I know, but the search is worth it.
