@aeh, to round off the story: when DS13 went back to school after a lengthy illness, little S had left the gifted program. Apparently he hadn’t been in school for a while. DS13 has been wondering how unhappy he must have been! Apparently his mom had sent an email to that effect to the home room teacher, who discussed this and the classroom atmosphere in general at the PT meeting, saying things like “I really thought he was coming into his own” and “I felt the community in the class was great”. Uh, no. She has struck me as very insensitive before - mental note, great sensitivity should really be required for a teacher of the gifted...
Apparently little S is not dropping down to regular college prep level, neither at his old school nor at the music performance school his mom thought might possibly be a good alternative for him (back when she was still speaking to me) but has dropped down to clerical track school (that’s the one designed for average IQs). Possibly his grades were so bad college prep tracks wouldn’t take him any more. Maybe he’ll get another chance if he finishes out the year with better grades in clerical track, and drops down a year, but he will have to work so hard now, and there will be more transitions. What an avoidable mess!
DS7, on the other hand has announced that he is getting second grade worksheets in maths now to keep him happy and busy, and the school has announced that they are thinking of discontinuing the aide for next year if everyone is on board because he is doing so well!
