Thanks for your collective thoughts. Sorry for the following very long reply.
Does she need to go anywhere?
Yes, she does need to go somewhere. At the moment she�s at a really wonderful program with a focus on open-ended exploration and imaginative play. The teachers said that her personal interests seem to lie in areas generally considered academic at this age, and that she�s beyond the limited academics they�ll be introducing. We�re torn about leaving.
...I really don't like the sound of the private school motivational practices and would be worried about what their discipline practices.
It�s at odds with our home life. So far we do not use rewards or punishment with her at all. The school apparently does things like (at the elementary school level) having a �reading chest� with rewards in it to motivate reading. Right now our daughter is reading because she wants to, I feel no need to give her objects or candy per book read. It feels like it would distort something which is a source of joy to her. I recognize that not all children may be internally motivated to figure out how to read.
Toddlers and preschoolers also do not need to develop organization and time management skills, through homework or any other extrinsically structured activity. I would go so far as to say that it is unhealthy and counter-productive to attempt to do so.
I think I may have been unclear about something - I'd like my daughter to develop those skills, but later in the educational process. I am personally not fully convinced that substantial homework is the best or only way to accomplish this. The gifted school in question begins homework in elementary school, not preschool.
Organization and task completion are my personal weak points. My kid isn't my clone, but I coasted through school for years by passing tests while zoning out during class and either not completing work or forgetting to turn it in. The gifted program thinks this is a common outcome when kids aren't appropriately challenged. They consider their workload an appropriate challenge. I'm trying to consider their opinion.
Do you have any input on whether you think this goal is an appropriate concern in the longer term, and if so how you might want to see a school address it? The Montessori school we�re considering says that it is possibly spending a greater amount of time imparting organization and time management skills by asking children to manage their own time all day long. They give very limited homework, unless a child doesn�t complete work during the school hours and must thus complete it at home.
Secondly, placement decisions that you make for this next year or two do not obligate you to any particular path for subsequent years (although I understand that some programs have limited points of entry). What is best for her and your family system in one year may not be best for her in a future year. Less so-called academic rigor in preschool most certainly will not put her "behind".
This is good advice, and I need to try to remember that. I may be too hung up trying to think long term, rather than taking this a year at a time. Or rather, I do need to think long term, but do not need to think about this as picking a forever home. Unfortunately both of the schools we�re pondering are likelier to have slots available for preschool admission, and state that students have a better experience in their elementary programs if they started at the preschool level.
I�m not at all worried about her being behind. I�d like her to have an interesting time in preschool and am more worried about what traditional kindergarten and beyond would look like for a kid who is out of sync with age-level expectations.
Homework and public behavior [read shaming] charts for a 2.5 year old?! I'd stay away from this school like the plague.
A 2.5 year is still a baby and doesn't need such manipulation. If this method is successful with the older kids then I would suspect they either aren't that gifted or are heading for counselling later or both.
The homework and behavior charts don�t appear until elementary school. Regardless, I have an aversion to the idea of public behavior charts in any grade. If she were to attend our local public elementary school there would also be behavior charts. The Montessori option would be the exception in not using them.
We really liked Montessori, when it was a good program that had some flexibility in it. It was wonderful for our PG child, who was allowed and encouraged to follow his interests, including learning all he could stretch to learn.
That sounds really wonderful. Basically what I�d love for her to experience. Were you able to feel out the flexibility of this particular Montessori program before you started? Is there anything in particular you�d recommend asking about or looking for when visiting the school?
If it has to be one or the other, I'd go with Montessori, with the caveat that our HG+ son was bored stiff in a Montessori classroom.
If I had to do preschool over again, I'd look for a play based classroom that focuses on fostering imaginative play and social/emotional development.
How quickly was it apparent he was bored? Was the school willing pull appropriately leveled work for him? Was his school experience any better after leaving Montessori? How do you think elementary school would have looked for him if he�d been in a play-based preschool instead?
