Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional How to discuss diagnosis with child?

Does anyone have any advice or experience to share about how (or even if) you made your child aware of his/her diagnosis?

My DS10 has just received a diagnosis of ADHD, after several years of struggle and surveys and testing. He just doesn't know it yet. He is moderately gifted, has an oppositional streak, and has never been in an academically appropriate environment at school until this year in 4th grade, so in the past it was difficult to get meaningful teacher evaluations. We always ended up with high ratings on the ODD side, but just "elevated" on the H/I and Inattention. This year, he is in a full-day gifted program with teachers who are GT certified. They are occasionally noting behavior problems, but we are now hearing more comments like, "It's his focus. He just can't stay on track. He can't listen. We are always redirecting, but he seems to not be able to control it," and "When I am talking, he will stand up and call out to his friend across the room, often seems unable to control impulses". He can't keep up with belongings, can't remember what he needs at the end of the day and often gets home without his homework. We had the teachers do surveys recently, and wouldn't you know it, ODD rating from these teachers is completely within normal limits, but both Inattention and H/I ratings are clinically significant (very high, actually). We see the struggle at home too, all the hallmarks.

He did private testing two years ago, and the psychologist said he was "a hurricane" with his impulsivity, and although he did very well, he underperformed due to impulsive answering and would not stop despite several warnings. He also recently completed a computerized test to evaluate attention and did poorly on it. Until this year, however, we could not get any support from school for a diagnosis.

We are moving toward treatment decisions now, and I am wondering how I should talk to him about this. I think he will probably be relieved to know everyone is recognizing that he has been struggling for years, and that we are trying to help. He has even told me before that he thinks he has ADHD. But I'm not sure at his age how to approach this discussion. Any advice is welcome.