One of the things that can help are social stories. Generally they are written down and kept in a binder so that you can review or modify as needed.
I did tended to do some social stories on the fly out loud though as needed.
Off the top of my head. Birthday party. On the drive over as a young boy my son was talking about all the fun things that he was going to do at a birthday party. I thought to myself. Omg what if this party doesn’t meet his script of a party we will have a melt down. So I started “Social story on birthday parties” out loud, on the fly version.
Going to a friend's birthday party can be fun and exciting. This is your friend’s party so he generally gets to decide the activities and order of events. Sometimes he might ask his guests what they want to do next. Sometimes he won’t. Birthday boy is the king of the day because it is his birthday. It’s okay to do events of a birthday in different order than you are used to. Generally there are certain things at a party. Food, play and presents. Sometimes food includes cake. Sometimes the birthday boy doesn’t like cake. Polite guests thank the host for whatever food is offered. It is okay to want cake but not to express that out loud. Wait for something to be offered unless it is needing to usie the bathroom, then ask for directions.
Remember it is your friend’s birthday, he gets to choose. Same goes for other birthday traditions like hats, decorations, goody bags, bouncy houses. Some parties have them some don’t. You can have fun at a party no matter what is planned. Know that at your party you can have the things you want. Don’t tell the kids or adults that you can have what you want at your party. Just know that in your head. Have fun at the birthday party playing and talking with your friends.
Basically a social story sets up a social situation and the expectations and then breaks it down into the exceptions and what to do. Lots of generally this happens but sometimes this happens and that’s okay and how to handle it. Every child’s social stories will look different because each child has difficulty in different areas. At the time my son liked all birthday parties to look exactly the same. Routine was predictable and safe to him. With the quick car social story, he did fine at the party. And they had cake and hats but no bouncy house. And that was okay! You can write these for playground situations, classroom, any social situation. The kid can read and review them as needed.
