Pemberley, I have so much respect for how you've approached these challenges with your DD. I know I'm just one random voice on the internet, but please know that your dedication to your DD is heartwarming and a source of personal inspiration, so thank you for sharing your journey with us!
Although these aren't BTDT lines, because we haven't faced 2E challenges as you have, maybe some of these might help bridge the teacher's gap in understanding?
For your DD
Short answer A: "I have a neurological disability. No matter how hard I try, my body will be unable to do that. My doctor says I need [insert request for intervention]."
Short answer B: "In the same way that confidence will not make me fly, it also won't let me do what my nervous system isn't wired to do. I have a disability."
Longer elaboration: "I am doing my best, but I need you to understand that my body can't do what you're asking. I know you are trying to encourage me, but when I ask for my aids, I need you to believe I need them. It makes me feel like my best effort isn't enough, and I don't think I should be penalized because I was born with a medical disability."
For you
Your wheelchair analogy is perfect to build buy-in. Maybe I'm just a receptive audience, but your discussion of the unintended messages behind "just have faith" are really compelling. In the teacher or administrator's shoes, I would feel it was an ethical violation of my role to do anything other than offer supports based on what you're written.
