I'm looking for go to lines that you have found effective when teachers or others Just. Don't. Get. It.

Someone on a special Ed parent board I belong to recently posted a picture of a kid in a wheelchair on the landing of a staircase with a caption saying refusing to provide accommodations to a child with a hidden disability like dyslexia, dysgraphia or ADHD is akin to refusing to provide a ramp for a child in a wheelchair. The combination of the image and the words was - to me anyway - very powerful.

I have used this analogy many times. ie When no matter how we explained the need or tightened the IEP DD's 2nd grade teacher insisted that she "write as much as you can yourself before you ask for help." District had provided a para to scribe but the teacher (and sometimes substitute paras) felt DD was just being lazy or trying to get out of doing her work. They truly believed they were helping by requiring her to "do her own work" rather than allowing her to access her accommodations. The only thing that got through was saying "So do you tell a child in a wheelchair they should drag themselves as far as they can before they ask for help? Only after they have completely exhausted themselves will you allow them to use their wheelchair?" "So by the time they get to the gym the rest of the class has almost finished PE so the student with the disability didn't get the chance to participate because you had them use all their energy pulling themselves down the hall. Right?" THAT analogy can be understood by most people.

This got me thinking - what are some of your go to responses?

For example

DD's gifted teacher who is really quite supportive and has been trained in DD's unique circumstances recently had her tracing - by hand - an image projected on a wall. DD tried self advocating and explaining that her combination of disabilities, ie her poor fine motor, visual perception, hand eye coordination, etc made this task just about impossible. She asked to be allowed to work on something else or to use her AT accommodation to print an image she found on line. (I was very proud of her for doing this...) Teacher's response "Oh DD you just have to have more faith in yourself." No it's not a matter having faith. It's neurology not confidence.

Unintended message - your 7 years of OT, your vision therapy, your incredible work ethic - everything you have done to get to where you are now don't mean a darn thing. If you JUST HAD FAITH IN YOURSELF you would be able to do this. Stop making excuses. Stop being lazy. Stop trying to get out of your work... DD's response was to say ok and keep trying to trace. She came home so exhausted she could barely hold her head up and so dispirited she doesn't care if she continues in the gifted program.

DD is now 13 and can't keep relying on me to make the arguments for her. She needs some easy one offs to rely on. And I need some to follow up with that don't make it look like I still think of her as that helpless 2nd grader.

So how does she respond in these situations? She is *very* concerned about being respectful and *never* wants to come off as rude.

What has worked for you? TIA