I have tried cutting out her nap, but that just makes her super tired by 7pm, and if we put her down at 7 then she ultimately wakes by around 9-10pm and is up until 2am... its some strange vicious circle.
As she gets older I am going to try to do the whole: stay in your room, lights out at 8:30, you can read/play quietly by nightlight system... but so far trying to implement this has been futile.
I know that she is likely a night-owl as her dad is a made one and I am a biological one. our natural bed time is 2-3am.

Ill try the suggestion of cutting her sleep in the morning (waking her from her nap is nearly impossible). Itll mean sacrificing my own sleep lol but hey if I get even an hour more quiet at night, itll be worth it.