My 7YO is being evaluated, at the school's request, for ADHD, in the coming months (waiting on neuro availability, have appts set later this month for intake). He's in 2nd grade. I'm willing to do the testing. We did the same testing with my ODS and there was no ADHD diagnosis given and the neuro said the behaviors were because ODS is bored.
YDS's teacher already called a meeting with us regarding some issues in class. Some of the items: failing to choose a book (browsing too long, not committing), wandering around the classroom, falling out of his chair repeatedly, noise making, wiggling. YDS is very very stressed about school, and often cries at night about how he's "bad" at school. He's the definition of perfectionist and any mild correction he feels as discipline. He scored a goal at soccer in his own goal a few weeks ago and refused to play for the rest of the game because of this error. It was the end of the world for him.
I promise I'll get to the point in a moment.
Regarding the classroom behaviors, I think the kid is bored to tears. He's grade accelerated already +1 (he just turned 7 last week), and as such, is the youngest in his class. There is a trend to redshirt in our district and as such, many of his classmates turned 8 over the summer. YDS is 17 mos younger than the oldest in his class (from teacher) and the youngest by 3 months. I hate redshirting because my child is only really 3 weeks young for grade, but appears to be significantly less mature than his classmates ... because he is, and should be. Another topic for another day.
My specific question is around seating. The teacher believes in allowing the children to choose where to sit each day when they come in in the morning, which is right before reading time. Reading time is when he is wandering, not finding a book, being disruptive, falling out of his seat. YDS has told us specifically that he does not like not having an assigned seat, and finds it stressful to have to find a new place every day. He tries to get the same seat, but sometimes another child is in that seat and he can't get it. He got "in trouble" by the teacher for removing another child's name plate from his desired seat during book choosing time.
I've told his teacher that the seat movement is very stressful for our child. She said she will assign seats later in the year, but at this time wants to give the children the opportunity to make good choices about people they sit by, make new friends, and learn the consequences of sitting by someone who is distracting on their own. As a parent, I know my child isn't mature enough for this, and I'm not sure it's developmentally appropriate at age 8-8.5 either.
I'm to the point that I want to tell her that he needs an assigned seat. He's starting off every day at school "in trouble" (mild course corrections per the teacher). Not his words, but he feels unsettled and stressed by not having a place to go. He worries about choosing a "bad" table, or seat. He feels left out if he doesn't get a "good" spot.
It's reasonable to request that she give him an assigned seat, isn't it? I'd rather she gave every child an assigned seat, because then he wouldn't be singled out, but I'm willing to accept that he has a safe place. Without any diagnosis, we don't qualify for an IEP so I can't force this issue except to ask again. I've already asked once, and she didn't change anything.
Thoughts? How would you address this?
