Nancy,
I�m sorry for your family�s loss. I know our school counselor holds a group for students who have experienced the death of a loved one. Maybe your local public district could recommend some books.
My cousin�s son was 9 when she was killed by a drunk driver. I know that it was important to him to see her body. Of course, 4 years old is a world of difference. My son was 8 when my father was �thought� to be dying. My son wanted to spend time at the hospital room with him. He accepted all of the unpleasantness of that environment better than any of the other children and many of the adults.
Let your son tell you what he needs, then consider whether it is appropriate based on his mental age.
Diana
